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Sunday, June 8, 2008

5 Hotless Women The Media wants you to think they are Hot

In the Media, women play an important role in making them popular. Heroes depends on Hayden Panettiere's cheerleading costume and Ali Larter's hot body. Fox News wants you to see Kirsten Powers arguing with Michelle Malkin just so that you could imagine both having a 69. The media also helped appeal to fanboys by making characters like Princess Leia, Sarah Jane & Hermione Granger hotter than they were. Hilary Clinton would do anything to exploit Chelsea Clinton, even having her appear on FHM! The music industry features women like Kate Nash and Sheryl Crow, whom both we want to fuck! While Al Jazeera English would want you to drool at Ghida Fakhry and Amanda Holden just so that you can come all over your TV.

However, the media can be such pricks. They can deceive you by making ugly women look hot, even though they are ugly 24/7. Here are 5 women who are ugly, but the media wants you to think they're hot:

5.Amy Winehouse


Who is she: Grammy-Award Winning Singer and full-time cokehead
Why the media wants you to think she's hot: She's a good singer, but the media believes that no one would listen to "ugly" singers. Therefore, the media would make a creepy PR campaign to not make her look hot, but to call her "hot". The Daily Mirror and Vogue calls her sexy, while David Tennant calls her "fabulous" during his appearance in the shitty Friday Night Projet.
A Hotter Equivalent: Kate Nash


4.Ann Coulter


Who is she: Conservative commentator, William F. Buckley wannabe, and a total fucking creep!
Why the media wants you to think she's hot: The main reason why people watch Hannity & Colmes is because Sean Hannity is a handsome-looking dude who will attract many female conservatives. The same thing would apply to Ann Coulter. Fox News would do anything just to make men drool to Ann.
A Hotter Equivalent: Michelle Malkin, eventhough she looks like a malnourished Pol Pot victim

3.Lindsay Lohan


Who is she: Failing actress, and rumoured Lesbian
Why the media wants you to think she's hot: Because she used to be the hottest chick in the world, back in 2004. Sadly, her life falls apart and she became the ugly duckling version of Charly from Flowers for Algernon. However, her mom and full time bitch Dina Lohan wants men to keep on drooling to her till she dies, and therefore, an atrocious PR campaign is set up, including having her impersonating Marilyn Monroe.
Hotter Equivalents: Hayden Panettiere, Kristen Stewart, Megan Fox, Ellen Page & Emma Watson.

2.Paris Hilton


Who is she: Full time whore and useless daughter of a huge empire.
Why the media wants you to think she's hot: She has a sex tape, and she's a part of a huge empire of hotels. What else can i say?
A Hotter Equivalent: Ivanka Trump

1.Sarah Jessica Parker


Who is she: Star of the hit show Sex and the City who has a face like a horse
Why the media wants you to think she's hot: When you have a show called "Sex and the City", and your main character is a female, you have to make her hot. Therefore, she kept appearing in covers of magazines like Vogue, Vanity Fair and Fortune. However, we can still thank Maxim for awarding her "Most Unsexiest Woman".
Hotter Equivalents: Kim Cattrall & Kristin Davis, both co-stars of SATC.

Next time guys, be warned if the media fools. If you still like them, fine it's your personal choice but if you kept saying that one of these women are "HOTTEST CHICK EVER!!", you need to get out more.

2 comments:

Obefiend Weiland said...

SJP = ugly fuck

the only one in the list that i know i would happily spear with my meat rocket is Lilo

she mght be a drunk, druggie and a lesbian. but she is redhead. i haven't boned a real redhead before. need to bone one to complete my "do before i die" list

p/s: i kinda dig her freckles

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