Jalur Gemilang

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Sunday, November 23, 2008

Why homophobia must end.

The current discrimination towards the gay community around most parts of the world is a disgusting and hateful form of intolerance. From the execution of two Iranian gays 8 years ago, to the murders of Lawrence King & Matthew Shepard and the creation of Proposition 8 in the US state of California, i have decided to speak out in defense of the gay community.

I am not gay. I am religious. I'm a Malaysian, and eventhough i'm a supporter of Barisan Nasional, i'm open minded and liberal. And I have something to say, both in my own defense and to the religious community that I am often thought to share offensive viewpoints with simply because I am a heterosexual, Muslim Malaysian.

I am suppose to be one of them; I was raised to be one of them. And, I have thought much about this issue. I am ashamed! I was taught to respect people who are different than I for whatever reason. I was taught that no one ever had the right to impose a religious belief upon another. That a mosque was meant to guide and teach you, but it could not, under any circumstances, coerce or impose its beliefs upon anyone. Not even my own religion has that right! I was raised to believe that the separation of church and state must never be bridged.

I was taught that the purpose of government was to establish ways for people to live together in peace. To make it possible for a wide variety of people with many different religions, customs, and beliefs to live and work together with respect for each other so that an economy could be established. That the state could never, ever, impose a religious belief unless the security and safety of that society and economy would clearly benefit.

We have here a group of people who have become an established segment of our community. A group of people who have the support of business as well as established religious organizations which support their rights, including the right to marry. Religious institutions which say they support gay marriage and wish to perform such ceremonies. Are we suppose to impose our religious beliefs upon them? If so, I don't want to hear any snivelling when another religion's beliefs are imposed upon yours. The separation of church and state must not be circumvented! Not even by vote, but most certainly not by a vote which is based upon religious beliefs which have no clear benefit to the state! Indeed, the state is harmed by this as all it does is cause misery and harm to a large minority segment of its own citizenry. This is the perversion!

Or, am I just suppose to ignore those people, those companies, those religious institutions? As if they don't count? I will not be a part of this!

My Form 5 History teacher taught me about separation of church and state. And she taught me that as a citizen, it was my duty as a Muslim to find ways to work with people who are different than I, independent of my religious beliefs (except that I, myself, must live by them) in a manner which is courteous, respectful, and promoted peace. As a citizen of Malaysia, I was to conduct myself in a way that best promoted the welfare of my state and federal government with respect toward all the citizens in it. We were to live our Malaysian beliefs ourselves, but we weren't suppose to shove those beliefs down another's throat, nor to coerce anyone into living them, nor to impose those beliefs on anyone! Shame on you!

They also taught me that Allah s.w.t. (God) made me, just the way I am. They told me that God loves me just the way I am. They told me that this was true of every single person in this world, even those who were different than I, even those who didn't believe in God at all. They told me that God is compassionate, merciful, and that all love comes from God. That He wanted us to do our best to be like Him. To try and do what He would want. To forgive others the way we want Him to forgive us. To not judge others. To love one another.

I don't see my mosque acting the way they told me to. I know homosexuality is a sin. I know what the Koran says. I'm missing something, clearly. But I have friends who are gay. They are good people and I will not condemn them. That's between them and God. I believe in a merciful God and I will trust Him to know what He's doing because He made them, too, just the way they are and I figure that's how He loves them.

I don't know why my religion is becoming one of intolerance and hate. Or being represented so. I don't know why gay people are having to bear this. I just know: I don't want to be a part of it. And I don't want people to think that just because I am a heterosexual Muslim, that I support what is being done to our gay community in any way at all. And I beg everyone, please reconsider what you are doing.

To the gay community: I am very ashamed. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.

Friday, November 14, 2008

5 Reasons why Twilight's popularity sucks ass:

Come 26th of November, a movie based on a best-selling book called "Twilight" will be released to the world, causing girls aged 5 to 20 to be turned into mindless who would cannibalise anyone who hates Twilight (the same way the Jonas Brothers zombies had cannibalised every single non-Jonas Brothers fan).

Twilight is about a girl who falls in love with a vampire. Typically cliche. To be honest, i liked it. It's a good book. I liked the story, and the developing romance between Bella and Edward. However, it's overrated and should not deserve the fame it has right now. Here are 5 reasons why Twilight is overrated:

5.Edward is not a vampire. He's just a perfect pretty kid.

To be honest, whenever i think of a vampire, i think of Bela Lugosi scaring the shit out of me when i was kid, or the vamps from I am Legend creeping a post-apocalyptic New York at night. Edward is none of that. He roams the daylight, is a vegetarian, and he is described as the perfect guy for girls. This is bollocks, absolute bollocks really.

Stephanie Meyer should have a made Edward a mutant or a new genetic human caused by a scientific error, but making him a vampire with no characteristic of a vampire is a disgrace to vampires everywhere. Good-looking vampires like Dracula has imperfections that makes women hate him, while ugly vampires like Nosferatu has the ability to make women to feel sorry for him.

Okay, so i know that horror creatures need a 21-st century upgrade, but the core values should not be changed. Simon Pegg was right when he said that zombies makes no sense if they're running. And that goes the same with vampires. They should never roam the daylight. Do you want Godzilla to look like Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl?

4.It should not be compared to Harry Potter.

The other day I heard on the news "The best book since that one about the boy wizard named...what was his name again?"

These books are in no way comparable to Harry Potter. For two reasons.

Firstly, Harry Potter is a brilliantly written book. Twilight is not as well-written as Harry Potter. The Harry Potter books contains characters with imperfections, which gives it a sense of realism, unlike Twilight where everyone is a perfect douche.

Secondly, these books do not appeal to the masses. If you're not a gay guy or 13-17 year old girl, you most likely will not be interested. I know people from the ages of 6-73 who love Harry Potter, because the books are great on many different levels. The Harry Potter books are as brilliant as books like Lord of the Rings, The Dark Tower and graphic novels like Watchmen. There is no way that Twilight can be as good as Lord of the Rings. NO FREAKING WAY!

3.It's being treated as a teeny bop sensation rather than a book.

When i read a book, i read it as a book, i treat it like a book, and i understand it like a book. I don't treat it as a big sensation. I just treat it like a book, the same way i treat song like a song, a movie like a movie, and a rave party like a rave party. And the reason why Twilight is in my LibraryThing collection, because i treat it like a book, and nothing else.

When i see Twilight being treated as a teeny bop obsession, i was filled with disgrace that a book was treated like the Jonas Brothers. It's just wrong. A book's popularity should have some class, and anything that is treated like an obsession by teeny boppers lacks any class whatsoever. Twilight should deserve some respect, the same way the Koran, Harry Potter and American Psycho does. Heck, even Gossip Girl has more class than Twilight.

When the band Hanson was the tween sensation back in the late 90's, they did something really incredible: In 2000, they say to the world "Fuck you teeny boppers, we're going indie!" It was one of the bravest things they have ever done. The Jonas Brothers will do the same thing in the next few years, and in the next decade, when Stephanie Meyer released her new book "Afternoon", she will say to the world "Fuck these Teenyboppers, these so-called Twilight fans are a disgrace to my books, and in this time i'll make Edward as ugly as Nosferatu. You'll see"


"Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I had been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still on the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal."

WHAT THE FUCK IS HE, a special Swarovski presentation?

Come on. I've made it through Bridges of Madison Country. I trundled through my fair share of bodice rippers. I read Mercedes Lackey, Preston & Child, and good ol' RL Stine for my caloric trash intake. This? This is really, really bad - when you realize how slimly made the main character is, you see that it is the most obvious commercial Mary Sue pandering yet. If you enjoy the books, okay, fine, everyone has their rights. I enjoyed it too, but with a writing like that it should not be popular in the first place.

1.There are better books to read

Yes, there are. Why? Because there are books with better writing, better presentation & realism. Read the following, they are better than Twilight:

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

Dreams of my Father by Barack Obama

The Mist by Stephen King

Animal Farm by George Orwell

The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox

More Joy ... : An Advanced Guide to Solo Sex by Harold Litten

Now, go ahead, flame me!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Loser of the Year: Joe the Plumber

Thak You America for a Wonderful Election

Yes We Did

10 Dumb Things i've learned in the US Presidential Elections of 2008

Tonight, after hours of studying & preparing (kinda) for SPM, i've decided to step away from my books and give focus to the biggest attention of all: The US Presidential Elections of 2008.

You see, i've been an avid fan of US politics since 2000. Why? Because like almost none of you, i used to watch CNN(before BBC World & Al-Jazeera), and ever since i started watching CNN like in the age of seven, i've been glued to US politics ever since. When the 2000 Elections kept showing on not just CNN but also TV3 & RTM, i was glued all day just to see the campaigning between Bush & Gore. And here's a sad thing: I supported Bush back in 2000. Sut still, i was a kid.

And when 9/11 came, i was saddened and worse, shocked when i see all my fellow Muslim friends & even family members cheering the fall of the WTC. I was sickened to see that people are cheering the day 3000 people died. Thankfully, people moved on and it was until the day Bush said "Saddam has WMDs in Iraq" that i've diced to oppose Bush to the fullest.

Now, it's 2008 and thankfully, by 2009 the Bush legacy has come to a close. But sadly, the Bush legacy may continue thanks to people like John McCain & Sarah Palin. I endorse either Barack Obama or Ron Paul, and i'm filled with optimism that Barack Obama will improve alot of things wrong about the US and how the US has pissed on the rest of the world, especially on the Muslim world.

What i've noticed about this election, is that for the past 21 months, it has the most sleaziest campaigning in history, and it's so sleazy that it has gotten hilariously dumb. From socialist Muslim calling to Joe the Plumber, i've decided to list down 10 really dumb things about thie election:

1.If you're a member of a White-hating Christ Church, you're definitely a Muslim

You know, the funniest thing about this election, is how people kept calling Barack Obama a Muslim. Now, as a Muslim, i don't find it ofensive, i find it hilarious! Seriously, Barack Obama is a member of the Trinity Church of Christ, whose leader Jeremiah Wright said this:

And that was like during February. And even after the whole Jeremiah Wright fiasco, people are still calling Barack Obama a Muslim:

Republicans still astounds me with their stupidity.

2.A McCain endorsement from "Joe the Plumber" is way awesome than an Obama endorsement from 76 Nobel laureates

Joe the Plumber is not a real plumber, and Joe isn't his first name neither(It's Samuel Joe Wuzelbaucher), but McCain doesn't really give a shit. He used Joe the Plumber as a powerful attack against Obama. John McCain thinks that an endorsement from "Joe the Plumber" will make him have a strong lead in the elections, but Obama's endorsements are way better: He has 76 Nobel Laureates endorsing him! But hey, Mr. Plumber here is a better unique selling point than a bunch of elitist Nobel laureates right?

3.Having the ability to see Russia from your house makes you an expert on foreign politics.

Sarah Palin, the super hot but equally dumb Vice Presidential candidate says that she has foreign policy experience because she lives in Russia, and she can see Russia from her house!

Which kinda surprises me because i didn't know that geography determines your expertise. If having the ability to see a neighbouring country makes you a foreign policy expert, therefore all Singaporeans are experts on Malaysia. Therefore, if i want to get an opinion on Malaysian politics, don't bother reading a Raja Petra Kamaruddin post. Juat ask a Singaporean.

Thank you Sarah Palin!

4.The Flaws of Electronic Voting Machines makes me proud to live in a country that still practices Ballot Paper Democracy!

Back in 2000, when the Electronic Voting Machines were introduced in the US, many people around the world responded by saying "Woah, that looks cool man!".

Sadly, the Electronic Voting Machines were so flawed that the whole of Florida got fucked for a month after the elections. Numerous recounts which were cancelled over and over causes the winner goes to....George W. Bush.

And after 8 years, i kept wondering: Why are they still using these fucking useless machines? Heck, even Al-Jazeera made a report about this:

And it kept me thinking: Hey, thank god Malaysia's still using an effective voting system consisting of only paper ballots. Seriously, i mean you just cross your choice on the paper, put it inside the ballot box and wallah, it works! And if the opposition can get the 2/3ds Majority seat this year, then that is the reason why the paper-ballot system is still working till today. Thank you SPR for not using the electronic voting machine.

5.So you're a female VP candidate for a party that opposes abortion, but have a daughter who's pregnant? Don't abort, marry.

The teen pregnancy sensation occuring in the Gen-Y universe is really disturbing. I as a Gen-Y teenager is shocked to see the amount of stupidity fellow teenagers are getting pregnant day-by-day, country-by-country.

But what's way dumber is how you can cover-up the pregnancy of your own daughter by forcing her to marry the guy who knocked her up. Take Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin's hot daughter. She got knocked up by a guy named Levi Johnson. NOTE: A Teen Pregnancy Case would ruin a political career, but Sarah Palin has a better idea: Force Bristol to marry Levi. Yeah, good job covering it all up. A teen pregnancy is still a teen pregnancy. No matter how much you're trying to make a positive outlook on it, it would still make you a bad mother. "But she took abstinence class!' Yeah, as if abstinence works!

6.If you're smart, educated, upper-middle class and intelligent, then you're an elitist scumbag.

What's dumb about this election is how McCain tries to appeal to Average Joe sixpacks and calling Obama an "Elitist" because McCain wants to relate himself to the Average Joe. Which is kinda dumb i tell ya. They call him elitist because he has that "Harvard fag talk" and the "snob charisma" most Americans envy. But if i were an American, i don't want an Average Joe president, i want an educated president with a Harvard degree. And so what if he's an elitist? And look at this chart, and tell me which one's the elitist:

7.Got no message to say the people? Then steal your opponent's message!

When Barack Obama used terms like "Change" and "Reform" and created slogans like "Change We Can Believe", everyone was wowing at Obama. But what about McCain? What message would McCain say to the people? Well, here's his message:

Which, actually kinda sounds reminds me of this:

Good job stealing a slogan from Obama you old jerk.

8.Carve a B on your face and pretend that Obama supporters bullied the shit out of you.

Last week, some idiot bitch named Ashley Todd lied to the world and said that a bunch of Obama supporters bullied her and carved a B on her face. It was soon revealed to be a hoax, and then McCain's poll rating gone lower because of this stupid scam. However, Of all the stupid things that are wrong with that Ashley Todd scam, this is the one that we just can't get our heads around. Why not an O? It's immediate. It's easy to carve. And you can't do it effing backwards! If it had been an O, we predict that story would have stayed alive through the whole weekend. Instead, they picked it apart within 18 hours. Crazy is one thing, but crazy and stupid? That's just bad politics.

9.Taking money from greedy people and spreading it to the poor makes you a socialist.

If being called an elitist & a Muslim isn't enough, now Obama's being called a SOCIALIST! Why? Because he wants to tax the rich, support unions & spread wealth to poor people. Which kinda reminds me, does John McCain know anything about economics? The difference between socialism & Obama's "spreading the wealth"-esque welfare? Well, to answer that: No.

And yes, that video just compared McCain to Miss Teen South Carolina.
10.French Canadians are now cool!

A comedy duo from Montreal pranked Sarah Palin by pretending to be the President of France Nicolas Sarkozy. Marc-Antoine Audette, one half of the duo, called from radio station CKOI and got through to Palin after trying for days. During the 6-minute conversation, Marc dropped a ton of hints that she was being punk'd. He told Sarah that he loves hunting and killing animals is fun! He also used fake names for Canadian politicians. He also told her that his wife Carla Bruni was "good in bed" and had written a song about Joe the Plumber. He even sang a few notes and Palin still stayed on the line. This would be so much better if furry puppets were re-enacting the phone call. I'm sure someone's going to make that happen. You know that by the end of the day, there will be hundreds of "dramatizations" of this shit!

Below is the cringe-worthy and fucking hilarious audio and click here to read the transcript.

So after this election, after all the fiascos, the attack ads, and the name calling, let's hope that i can continue concentrating for my SPM next week!(And may Obama wins this election)

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