The current discrimination towards the gay community around most parts of the world is a disgusting and hateful form of intolerance. From the execution of two Iranian gays 8 years ago, to the murders of Lawrence King & Matthew Shepard and the creation of Proposition 8 in the US state of California, i have decided to speak out in defense of the gay community.
I am not gay. I am religious. I'm a Malaysian, and eventhough i'm a supporter of Barisan Nasional, i'm open minded and liberal. And I have something to say, both in my own defense and to the religious community that I am often thought to share offensive viewpoints with simply because I am a heterosexual, Muslim Malaysian.
I am suppose to be one of them; I was raised to be one of them. And, I have thought much about this issue. I am ashamed! I was taught to respect people who are different than I for whatever reason. I was taught that no one ever had the right to impose a religious belief upon another. That a mosque was meant to guide and teach you, but it could not, under any circumstances, coerce or impose its beliefs upon anyone. Not even my own religion has that right! I was raised to believe that the separation of church and state must never be bridged.
I was taught that the purpose of government was to establish ways for people to live together in peace. To make it possible for a wide variety of people with many different religions, customs, and beliefs to live and work together with respect for each other so that an economy could be established. That the state could never, ever, impose a religious belief unless the security and safety of that society and economy would clearly benefit.
We have here a group of people who have become an established segment of our community. A group of people who have the support of business as well as established religious organizations which support their rights, including the right to marry. Religious institutions which say they support gay marriage and wish to perform such ceremonies. Are we suppose to impose our religious beliefs upon them? If so, I don't want to hear any snivelling when another religion's beliefs are imposed upon yours. The separation of church and state must not be circumvented! Not even by vote, but most certainly not by a vote which is based upon religious beliefs which have no clear benefit to the state! Indeed, the state is harmed by this as all it does is cause misery and harm to a large minority segment of its own citizenry. This is the perversion!
Or, am I just suppose to ignore those people, those companies, those religious institutions? As if they don't count? I will not be a part of this!
My Form 5 History teacher taught me about separation of church and state. And she taught me that as a citizen, it was my duty as a Muslim to find ways to work with people who are different than I, independent of my religious beliefs (except that I, myself, must live by them) in a manner which is courteous, respectful, and promoted peace. As a citizen of Malaysia, I was to conduct myself in a way that best promoted the welfare of my state and federal government with respect toward all the citizens in it. We were to live our Malaysian beliefs ourselves, but we weren't suppose to shove those beliefs down another's throat, nor to coerce anyone into living them, nor to impose those beliefs on anyone! Shame on you!
They also taught me that Allah s.w.t. (God) made me, just the way I am. They told me that God loves me just the way I am. They told me that this was true of every single person in this world, even those who were different than I, even those who didn't believe in God at all. They told me that God is compassionate, merciful, and that all love comes from God. That He wanted us to do our best to be like Him. To try and do what He would want. To forgive others the way we want Him to forgive us. To not judge others. To love one another.
I don't see my mosque acting the way they told me to. I know homosexuality is a sin. I know what the Koran says. I'm missing something, clearly. But I have friends who are gay. They are good people and I will not condemn them. That's between them and God. I believe in a merciful God and I will trust Him to know what He's doing because He made them, too, just the way they are and I figure that's how He loves them.
I don't know why my religion is becoming one of intolerance and hate. Or being represented so. I don't know why gay people are having to bear this. I just know: I don't want to be a part of it. And I don't want people to think that just because I am a heterosexual Muslim, that I support what is being done to our gay community in any way at all. And I beg everyone, please reconsider what you are doing.
To the gay community: I am very ashamed. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
5 Reasons why Twilight's popularity sucks ass:
Come 26th of November, a movie based on a best-selling book called "Twilight" will be released to the world, causing girls aged 5 to 20 to be turned into mindless who would cannibalise anyone who hates Twilight (the same way the Jonas Brothers zombies had cannibalised every single non-Jonas Brothers fan).
Twilight is about a girl who falls in love with a vampire. Typically cliche. To be honest, i liked it. It's a good book. I liked the story, and the developing romance between Bella and Edward. However, it's overrated and should not deserve the fame it has right now. Here are 5 reasons why Twilight is overrated:
5.Edward is not a vampire. He's just a perfect pretty kid.
To be honest, whenever i think of a vampire, i think of Bela Lugosi scaring the shit out of me when i was kid, or the vamps from I am Legend creeping a post-apocalyptic New York at night. Edward is none of that. He roams the daylight, is a vegetarian, and he is described as the perfect guy for girls. This is bollocks, absolute bollocks really.
Stephanie Meyer should have a made Edward a mutant or a new genetic human caused by a scientific error, but making him a vampire with no characteristic of a vampire is a disgrace to vampires everywhere. Good-looking vampires like Dracula has imperfections that makes women hate him, while ugly vampires like Nosferatu has the ability to make women to feel sorry for him.
Okay, so i know that horror creatures need a 21-st century upgrade, but the core values should not be changed. Simon Pegg was right when he said that zombies makes no sense if they're running. And that goes the same with vampires. They should never roam the daylight. Do you want Godzilla to look like Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl?
4.It should not be compared to Harry Potter.
The other day I heard on the news "The best book since that one about the boy wizard named...what was his name again?"
These books are in no way comparable to Harry Potter. For two reasons.
Firstly, Harry Potter is a brilliantly written book. Twilight is not as well-written as Harry Potter. The Harry Potter books contains characters with imperfections, which gives it a sense of realism, unlike Twilight where everyone is a perfect douche.
Secondly, these books do not appeal to the masses. If you're not a gay guy or 13-17 year old girl, you most likely will not be interested. I know people from the ages of 6-73 who love Harry Potter, because the books are great on many different levels. The Harry Potter books are as brilliant as books like Lord of the Rings, The Dark Tower and graphic novels like Watchmen. There is no way that Twilight can be as good as Lord of the Rings. NO FREAKING WAY!
3.It's being treated as a teeny bop sensation rather than a book.
When i read a book, i read it as a book, i treat it like a book, and i understand it like a book. I don't treat it as a big sensation. I just treat it like a book, the same way i treat song like a song, a movie like a movie, and a rave party like a rave party. And the reason why Twilight is in my LibraryThing collection, because i treat it like a book, and nothing else.
When i see Twilight being treated as a teeny bop obsession, i was filled with disgrace that a book was treated like the Jonas Brothers. It's just wrong. A book's popularity should have some class, and anything that is treated like an obsession by teeny boppers lacks any class whatsoever. Twilight should deserve some respect, the same way the Koran, Harry Potter and American Psycho does. Heck, even Gossip Girl has more class than Twilight.
When the band Hanson was the tween sensation back in the late 90's, they did something really incredible: In 2000, they say to the world "Fuck you teeny boppers, we're going indie!" It was one of the bravest things they have ever done. The Jonas Brothers will do the same thing in the next few years, and in the next decade, when Stephanie Meyer released her new book "Afternoon", she will say to the world "Fuck these Teenyboppers, these so-called Twilight fans are a disgrace to my books, and in this time i'll make Edward as ugly as Nosferatu. You'll see"
2.Huh?
"Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I had been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still on the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal."
WHAT THE FUCK IS HE, a special Swarovski presentation?
Come on. I've made it through Bridges of Madison Country. I trundled through my fair share of bodice rippers. I read Mercedes Lackey, Preston & Child, and good ol' RL Stine for my caloric trash intake. This? This is really, really bad - when you realize how slimly made the main character is, you see that it is the most obvious commercial Mary Sue pandering yet. If you enjoy the books, okay, fine, everyone has their rights. I enjoyed it too, but with a writing like that it should not be popular in the first place.
1.There are better books to read
Yes, there are. Why? Because there are books with better writing, better presentation & realism. Read the following, they are better than Twilight:
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Dreams of my Father by Barack Obama
The Mist by Stephen King
Animal Farm by George Orwell
The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox
More Joy ... : An Advanced Guide to Solo Sex by Harold Litten
Now, go ahead, flame me!
Twilight is about a girl who falls in love with a vampire. Typically cliche. To be honest, i liked it. It's a good book. I liked the story, and the developing romance between Bella and Edward. However, it's overrated and should not deserve the fame it has right now. Here are 5 reasons why Twilight is overrated:
5.Edward is not a vampire. He's just a perfect pretty kid.
To be honest, whenever i think of a vampire, i think of Bela Lugosi scaring the shit out of me when i was kid, or the vamps from I am Legend creeping a post-apocalyptic New York at night. Edward is none of that. He roams the daylight, is a vegetarian, and he is described as the perfect guy for girls. This is bollocks, absolute bollocks really.
Stephanie Meyer should have a made Edward a mutant or a new genetic human caused by a scientific error, but making him a vampire with no characteristic of a vampire is a disgrace to vampires everywhere. Good-looking vampires like Dracula has imperfections that makes women hate him, while ugly vampires like Nosferatu has the ability to make women to feel sorry for him.
Okay, so i know that horror creatures need a 21-st century upgrade, but the core values should not be changed. Simon Pegg was right when he said that zombies makes no sense if they're running. And that goes the same with vampires. They should never roam the daylight. Do you want Godzilla to look like Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl?
4.It should not be compared to Harry Potter.
The other day I heard on the news "The best book since that one about the boy wizard named...what was his name again?"
These books are in no way comparable to Harry Potter. For two reasons.
Firstly, Harry Potter is a brilliantly written book. Twilight is not as well-written as Harry Potter. The Harry Potter books contains characters with imperfections, which gives it a sense of realism, unlike Twilight where everyone is a perfect douche.
Secondly, these books do not appeal to the masses. If you're not a gay guy or 13-17 year old girl, you most likely will not be interested. I know people from the ages of 6-73 who love Harry Potter, because the books are great on many different levels. The Harry Potter books are as brilliant as books like Lord of the Rings, The Dark Tower and graphic novels like Watchmen. There is no way that Twilight can be as good as Lord of the Rings. NO FREAKING WAY!
3.It's being treated as a teeny bop sensation rather than a book.
When i read a book, i read it as a book, i treat it like a book, and i understand it like a book. I don't treat it as a big sensation. I just treat it like a book, the same way i treat song like a song, a movie like a movie, and a rave party like a rave party. And the reason why Twilight is in my LibraryThing collection, because i treat it like a book, and nothing else.
When i see Twilight being treated as a teeny bop obsession, i was filled with disgrace that a book was treated like the Jonas Brothers. It's just wrong. A book's popularity should have some class, and anything that is treated like an obsession by teeny boppers lacks any class whatsoever. Twilight should deserve some respect, the same way the Koran, Harry Potter and American Psycho does. Heck, even Gossip Girl has more class than Twilight.
When the band Hanson was the tween sensation back in the late 90's, they did something really incredible: In 2000, they say to the world "Fuck you teeny boppers, we're going indie!" It was one of the bravest things they have ever done. The Jonas Brothers will do the same thing in the next few years, and in the next decade, when Stephanie Meyer released her new book "Afternoon", she will say to the world "Fuck these Teenyboppers, these so-called Twilight fans are a disgrace to my books, and in this time i'll make Edward as ugly as Nosferatu. You'll see"
2.Huh?
"Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I had been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still on the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal."
WHAT THE FUCK IS HE, a special Swarovski presentation?
Come on. I've made it through Bridges of Madison Country. I trundled through my fair share of bodice rippers. I read Mercedes Lackey, Preston & Child, and good ol' RL Stine for my caloric trash intake. This? This is really, really bad - when you realize how slimly made the main character is, you see that it is the most obvious commercial Mary Sue pandering yet. If you enjoy the books, okay, fine, everyone has their rights. I enjoyed it too, but with a writing like that it should not be popular in the first place.
1.There are better books to read
Yes, there are. Why? Because there are books with better writing, better presentation & realism. Read the following, they are better than Twilight:
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Dreams of my Father by Barack Obama
The Mist by Stephen King
Animal Farm by George Orwell
The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox
More Joy ... : An Advanced Guide to Solo Sex by Harold Litten
Now, go ahead, flame me!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
10 Dumb Things i've learned in the US Presidential Elections of 2008
Tonight, after hours of studying & preparing (kinda) for SPM, i've decided to step away from my books and give focus to the biggest attention of all: The US Presidential Elections of 2008.
You see, i've been an avid fan of US politics since 2000. Why? Because like almost none of you, i used to watch CNN(before BBC World & Al-Jazeera), and ever since i started watching CNN like in the age of seven, i've been glued to US politics ever since. When the 2000 Elections kept showing on not just CNN but also TV3 & RTM, i was glued all day just to see the campaigning between Bush & Gore. And here's a sad thing: I supported Bush back in 2000. Sut still, i was a kid.
And when 9/11 came, i was saddened and worse, shocked when i see all my fellow Muslim friends & even family members cheering the fall of the WTC. I was sickened to see that people are cheering the day 3000 people died. Thankfully, people moved on and it was until the day Bush said "Saddam has WMDs in Iraq" that i've diced to oppose Bush to the fullest.
Now, it's 2008 and thankfully, by 2009 the Bush legacy has come to a close. But sadly, the Bush legacy may continue thanks to people like John McCain & Sarah Palin. I endorse either Barack Obama or Ron Paul, and i'm filled with optimism that Barack Obama will improve alot of things wrong about the US and how the US has pissed on the rest of the world, especially on the Muslim world.
What i've noticed about this election, is that for the past 21 months, it has the most sleaziest campaigning in history, and it's so sleazy that it has gotten hilariously dumb. From socialist Muslim calling to Joe the Plumber, i've decided to list down 10 really dumb things about thie election:
1.If you're a member of a White-hating Christ Church, you're definitely a Muslim
You know, the funniest thing about this election, is how people kept calling Barack Obama a Muslim. Now, as a Muslim, i don't find it ofensive, i find it hilarious! Seriously, Barack Obama is a member of the Trinity Church of Christ, whose leader Jeremiah Wright said this:
And that was like during February. And even after the whole Jeremiah Wright fiasco, people are still calling Barack Obama a Muslim:
Republicans still astounds me with their stupidity.
2.A McCain endorsement from "Joe the Plumber" is way awesome than an Obama endorsement from 76 Nobel laureates
Joe the Plumber is not a real plumber, and Joe isn't his first name neither(It's Samuel Joe Wuzelbaucher), but McCain doesn't really give a shit. He used Joe the Plumber as a powerful attack against Obama. John McCain thinks that an endorsement from "Joe the Plumber" will make him have a strong lead in the elections, but Obama's endorsements are way better: He has 76 Nobel Laureates endorsing him! But hey, Mr. Plumber here is a better unique selling point than a bunch of elitist Nobel laureates right?
3.Having the ability to see Russia from your house makes you an expert on foreign politics.
Sarah Palin, the super hot but equally dumb Vice Presidential candidate says that she has foreign policy experience because she lives in Russia, and she can see Russia from her house!
Which kinda surprises me because i didn't know that geography determines your expertise. If having the ability to see a neighbouring country makes you a foreign policy expert, therefore all Singaporeans are experts on Malaysia. Therefore, if i want to get an opinion on Malaysian politics, don't bother reading a Raja Petra Kamaruddin post. Juat ask a Singaporean.
Thank you Sarah Palin!
4.The Flaws of Electronic Voting Machines makes me proud to live in a country that still practices Ballot Paper Democracy!
Back in 2000, when the Electronic Voting Machines were introduced in the US, many people around the world responded by saying "Woah, that looks cool man!".
Sadly, the Electronic Voting Machines were so flawed that the whole of Florida got fucked for a month after the elections. Numerous recounts which were cancelled over and over causes the winner goes to....George W. Bush.
And after 8 years, i kept wondering: Why are they still using these fucking useless machines? Heck, even Al-Jazeera made a report about this:
And it kept me thinking: Hey, thank god Malaysia's still using an effective voting system consisting of only paper ballots. Seriously, i mean you just cross your choice on the paper, put it inside the ballot box and wallah, it works! And if the opposition can get the 2/3ds Majority seat this year, then that is the reason why the paper-ballot system is still working till today. Thank you SPR for not using the electronic voting machine.
5.So you're a female VP candidate for a party that opposes abortion, but have a daughter who's pregnant? Don't abort, marry.
The teen pregnancy sensation occuring in the Gen-Y universe is really disturbing. I as a Gen-Y teenager is shocked to see the amount of stupidity fellow teenagers are getting pregnant day-by-day, country-by-country.
But what's way dumber is how you can cover-up the pregnancy of your own daughter by forcing her to marry the guy who knocked her up. Take Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin's hot daughter. She got knocked up by a guy named Levi Johnson. NOTE: A Teen Pregnancy Case would ruin a political career, but Sarah Palin has a better idea: Force Bristol to marry Levi. Yeah, good job covering it all up. A teen pregnancy is still a teen pregnancy. No matter how much you're trying to make a positive outlook on it, it would still make you a bad mother. "But she took abstinence class!' Yeah, as if abstinence works!
6.If you're smart, educated, upper-middle class and intelligent, then you're an elitist scumbag.
What's dumb about this election is how McCain tries to appeal to Average Joe sixpacks and calling Obama an "Elitist" because McCain wants to relate himself to the Average Joe. Which is kinda dumb i tell ya. They call him elitist because he has that "Harvard fag talk" and the "snob charisma" most Americans envy. But if i were an American, i don't want an Average Joe president, i want an educated president with a Harvard degree. And so what if he's an elitist? And look at this chart, and tell me which one's the elitist:
7.Got no message to say the people? Then steal your opponent's message!
When Barack Obama used terms like "Change" and "Reform" and created slogans like "Change We Can Believe", everyone was wowing at Obama. But what about McCain? What message would McCain say to the people? Well, here's his message:
Which, actually kinda sounds reminds me of this:
Good job stealing a slogan from Obama you old jerk.
8.Carve a B on your face and pretend that Obama supporters bullied the shit out of you.
Last week, some idiot bitch named Ashley Todd lied to the world and said that a bunch of Obama supporters bullied her and carved a B on her face. It was soon revealed to be a hoax, and then McCain's poll rating gone lower because of this stupid scam. However, Of all the stupid things that are wrong with that Ashley Todd scam, this is the one that we just can't get our heads around. Why not an O? It's immediate. It's easy to carve. And you can't do it effing backwards! If it had been an O, we predict that story would have stayed alive through the whole weekend. Instead, they picked it apart within 18 hours. Crazy is one thing, but crazy and stupid? That's just bad politics.
9.Taking money from greedy people and spreading it to the poor makes you a socialist.
If being called an elitist & a Muslim isn't enough, now Obama's being called a SOCIALIST! Why? Because he wants to tax the rich, support unions & spread wealth to poor people. Which kinda reminds me, does John McCain know anything about economics? The difference between socialism & Obama's "spreading the wealth"-esque welfare? Well, to answer that: No.
And yes, that video just compared McCain to Miss Teen South Carolina.
10.French Canadians are now cool!
A comedy duo from Montreal pranked Sarah Palin by pretending to be the President of France Nicolas Sarkozy. Marc-Antoine Audette, one half of the duo, called from radio station CKOI and got through to Palin after trying for days. During the 6-minute conversation, Marc dropped a ton of hints that she was being punk'd. He told Sarah that he loves hunting and killing animals is fun! He also used fake names for Canadian politicians. He also told her that his wife Carla Bruni was "good in bed" and had written a song about Joe the Plumber. He even sang a few notes and Palin still stayed on the line. This would be so much better if furry puppets were re-enacting the phone call. I'm sure someone's going to make that happen. You know that by the end of the day, there will be hundreds of "dramatizations" of this shit!
Below is the cringe-worthy and fucking hilarious audio and click here to read the transcript.
So after this election, after all the fiascos, the attack ads, and the name calling, let's hope that i can continue concentrating for my SPM next week!(And may Obama wins this election)
You see, i've been an avid fan of US politics since 2000. Why? Because like almost none of you, i used to watch CNN(before BBC World & Al-Jazeera), and ever since i started watching CNN like in the age of seven, i've been glued to US politics ever since. When the 2000 Elections kept showing on not just CNN but also TV3 & RTM, i was glued all day just to see the campaigning between Bush & Gore. And here's a sad thing: I supported Bush back in 2000. Sut still, i was a kid.
And when 9/11 came, i was saddened and worse, shocked when i see all my fellow Muslim friends & even family members cheering the fall of the WTC. I was sickened to see that people are cheering the day 3000 people died. Thankfully, people moved on and it was until the day Bush said "Saddam has WMDs in Iraq" that i've diced to oppose Bush to the fullest.
Now, it's 2008 and thankfully, by 2009 the Bush legacy has come to a close. But sadly, the Bush legacy may continue thanks to people like John McCain & Sarah Palin. I endorse either Barack Obama or Ron Paul, and i'm filled with optimism that Barack Obama will improve alot of things wrong about the US and how the US has pissed on the rest of the world, especially on the Muslim world.
What i've noticed about this election, is that for the past 21 months, it has the most sleaziest campaigning in history, and it's so sleazy that it has gotten hilariously dumb. From socialist Muslim calling to Joe the Plumber, i've decided to list down 10 really dumb things about thie election:
1.If you're a member of a White-hating Christ Church, you're definitely a Muslim
You know, the funniest thing about this election, is how people kept calling Barack Obama a Muslim. Now, as a Muslim, i don't find it ofensive, i find it hilarious! Seriously, Barack Obama is a member of the Trinity Church of Christ, whose leader Jeremiah Wright said this:
And that was like during February. And even after the whole Jeremiah Wright fiasco, people are still calling Barack Obama a Muslim:
Republicans still astounds me with their stupidity.
2.A McCain endorsement from "Joe the Plumber" is way awesome than an Obama endorsement from 76 Nobel laureates
Joe the Plumber is not a real plumber, and Joe isn't his first name neither(It's Samuel Joe Wuzelbaucher), but McCain doesn't really give a shit. He used Joe the Plumber as a powerful attack against Obama. John McCain thinks that an endorsement from "Joe the Plumber" will make him have a strong lead in the elections, but Obama's endorsements are way better: He has 76 Nobel Laureates endorsing him! But hey, Mr. Plumber here is a better unique selling point than a bunch of elitist Nobel laureates right?
3.Having the ability to see Russia from your house makes you an expert on foreign politics.
Sarah Palin, the super hot but equally dumb Vice Presidential candidate says that she has foreign policy experience because she lives in Russia, and she can see Russia from her house!
Which kinda surprises me because i didn't know that geography determines your expertise. If having the ability to see a neighbouring country makes you a foreign policy expert, therefore all Singaporeans are experts on Malaysia. Therefore, if i want to get an opinion on Malaysian politics, don't bother reading a Raja Petra Kamaruddin post. Juat ask a Singaporean.
Thank you Sarah Palin!
4.The Flaws of Electronic Voting Machines makes me proud to live in a country that still practices Ballot Paper Democracy!
Back in 2000, when the Electronic Voting Machines were introduced in the US, many people around the world responded by saying "Woah, that looks cool man!".
Sadly, the Electronic Voting Machines were so flawed that the whole of Florida got fucked for a month after the elections. Numerous recounts which were cancelled over and over causes the winner goes to....George W. Bush.
And after 8 years, i kept wondering: Why are they still using these fucking useless machines? Heck, even Al-Jazeera made a report about this:
And it kept me thinking: Hey, thank god Malaysia's still using an effective voting system consisting of only paper ballots. Seriously, i mean you just cross your choice on the paper, put it inside the ballot box and wallah, it works! And if the opposition can get the 2/3ds Majority seat this year, then that is the reason why the paper-ballot system is still working till today. Thank you SPR for not using the electronic voting machine.
5.So you're a female VP candidate for a party that opposes abortion, but have a daughter who's pregnant? Don't abort, marry.
The teen pregnancy sensation occuring in the Gen-Y universe is really disturbing. I as a Gen-Y teenager is shocked to see the amount of stupidity fellow teenagers are getting pregnant day-by-day, country-by-country.
But what's way dumber is how you can cover-up the pregnancy of your own daughter by forcing her to marry the guy who knocked her up. Take Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin's hot daughter. She got knocked up by a guy named Levi Johnson. NOTE: A Teen Pregnancy Case would ruin a political career, but Sarah Palin has a better idea: Force Bristol to marry Levi. Yeah, good job covering it all up. A teen pregnancy is still a teen pregnancy. No matter how much you're trying to make a positive outlook on it, it would still make you a bad mother. "But she took abstinence class!' Yeah, as if abstinence works!
6.If you're smart, educated, upper-middle class and intelligent, then you're an elitist scumbag.
What's dumb about this election is how McCain tries to appeal to Average Joe sixpacks and calling Obama an "Elitist" because McCain wants to relate himself to the Average Joe. Which is kinda dumb i tell ya. They call him elitist because he has that "Harvard fag talk" and the "snob charisma" most Americans envy. But if i were an American, i don't want an Average Joe president, i want an educated president with a Harvard degree. And so what if he's an elitist? And look at this chart, and tell me which one's the elitist:
7.Got no message to say the people? Then steal your opponent's message!
When Barack Obama used terms like "Change" and "Reform" and created slogans like "Change We Can Believe", everyone was wowing at Obama. But what about McCain? What message would McCain say to the people? Well, here's his message:
Which, actually kinda sounds reminds me of this:
Good job stealing a slogan from Obama you old jerk.
8.Carve a B on your face and pretend that Obama supporters bullied the shit out of you.
Last week, some idiot bitch named Ashley Todd lied to the world and said that a bunch of Obama supporters bullied her and carved a B on her face. It was soon revealed to be a hoax, and then McCain's poll rating gone lower because of this stupid scam. However, Of all the stupid things that are wrong with that Ashley Todd scam, this is the one that we just can't get our heads around. Why not an O? It's immediate. It's easy to carve. And you can't do it effing backwards! If it had been an O, we predict that story would have stayed alive through the whole weekend. Instead, they picked it apart within 18 hours. Crazy is one thing, but crazy and stupid? That's just bad politics.
9.Taking money from greedy people and spreading it to the poor makes you a socialist.
If being called an elitist & a Muslim isn't enough, now Obama's being called a SOCIALIST! Why? Because he wants to tax the rich, support unions & spread wealth to poor people. Which kinda reminds me, does John McCain know anything about economics? The difference between socialism & Obama's "spreading the wealth"-esque welfare? Well, to answer that: No.
And yes, that video just compared McCain to Miss Teen South Carolina.
10.French Canadians are now cool!
A comedy duo from Montreal pranked Sarah Palin by pretending to be the President of France Nicolas Sarkozy. Marc-Antoine Audette, one half of the duo, called from radio station CKOI and got through to Palin after trying for days. During the 6-minute conversation, Marc dropped a ton of hints that she was being punk'd. He told Sarah that he loves hunting and killing animals is fun! He also used fake names for Canadian politicians. He also told her that his wife Carla Bruni was "good in bed" and had written a song about Joe the Plumber. He even sang a few notes and Palin still stayed on the line. This would be so much better if furry puppets were re-enacting the phone call. I'm sure someone's going to make that happen. You know that by the end of the day, there will be hundreds of "dramatizations" of this shit!
Below is the cringe-worthy and fucking hilarious audio and click here to read the transcript.
So after this election, after all the fiascos, the attack ads, and the name calling, let's hope that i can continue concentrating for my SPM next week!(And may Obama wins this election)
Friday, October 31, 2008
Why Americans hate "electronic music"
If there's something you don't like about America(besides Iraq, Afghanistan, Israeli support & its hatred of soccer), is the fact that they hated electronic music. And it's very obvious. If you compared rock music of America with rock music from the UK, American rock music comprises only of guitars, drums & a vocalist, with the exceptions bands like Slipknot & Nine Inch Nails which totally endorses every electronic instruments. But in the UK, British rock music fully endorses electronic materials, starting from the birth of synthesizers, to the acid house drum machines & computers.
And here's another comparison: Give an American teenager a song from Tiesto or Sasha, and a reply would rather be like "Fuck this techno sounding shit". But give the same song to a Brit, and he'll reply "Woah mate, this is MASSIVE!"
So yeah, there is a difference in use of electronic music in both US & UK. But why? Why does Americans hate "techno? Why don't the majority of US rock bands use electronic instruments while the UK ones endorsed it?
Well, i've once tried to get some answers from folks at LowYat.net forums and there's no clear answer to it. But there is alot of reasons why. It all starts with "the soccer problem". America is the only nation that doesn't care about football aka soccer. Even if the US hosted the 1994 World Cup, America still doesn't give a shit. Why? Because football is not easy to follow. Baseball, American football and basketball have long since put down deep roots, claimed particular seasons of the year as their own (although they now overlap) and gained the allegiance of the sports-following public. One in particular of those three sports - basketball - poses a singular obstacle to the national acceptance of football. The two are too similar for them both to succeed. Each belongs to the family of games whose object is to put a ball (or similar object) in a goal. Because the two games are similar, they have the same kind of appeal. Both are easy to follow; you can immediately understand the point of each one. The rules and strategies of cricket, baseball, rugby and American football, by contrast, are less straightforward. The action of a basketball game and of a football match are easier to follow than that of other team sports as well because the ball is larger than in cricket and baseball and is never hidden in a tangle of bodies or a scrum, as it is in American football and rugby. And the same applies to electronic music. Rock music like Nirvana and ugh, the Jonas Brothers is easy to listen to, while trance, techno & House requires some melody, repetition & tranquility, three elements that is rare in American music culture.
The second reason is the disco-bashing culture. Americans, especially those folks outside Chicago & NY that hates disco. And it's true. There was a "Disco Sucks" movements which has faded the popularity of many disco entertainers like Larry Levan & Donna Summer. Why? Because disco is loved by the black, European, Asian & gay community, and these communities were despised by middle America. Also, blame it on the US radio conglomerates (Clear Channel, for example) that own and program almost ALL of the radio stations in the US. They don't play dance stuff anymore--except on certain Saturday night programs where they try to give a taste of club sounds to the folks at home or in their cars goin' to the clubs. So when an American listens to some nice house tracks from Hed Kandi or Pete Tong or David Guetta, there's a definitive chance that they'll hate it, since house was evolved from disco.
Another reason is because Americans are not raised with electronic music. If you look at the UK, they are completely raised with the electronic music culture. Shows like Doctor Who & Blake's 7 contains true electronic music soundtracks & theme songs, thanks to a lady named Delia Derbyshire(and using synthesizers are way cheaper than an fully-conducted orchestra). Britain introduced the world to synthesizers through musicians like Brian Eno. And when house DJs like Marshall Jefferson played at London & Manchester clubs, the British quickly endorsed the music, way faster than the Americans. Why? All thanks to Doctor Who & Brian Eno, since many Chicago house musicians used the same equipments by those in British electronic music. Only a small fraction of Americans were raised through electronic music, and this is because that they were either influenced by Doctor Who, or if they've grown up with synthesizers, drum machines & turntables. And it's kinda true. Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails admitted to liking Brian Eno, the Sex Pistols & Doctor Who, and so was Slipknot, Madonna and DJ BT.
I also find that Americans don't get used to a DJ or a synthesizer/drum machine player just standing there playing music & not moving his legs. If you compare a rave party hosted by Armin Van Buuren to a Miley Cyrus concert, many would rather go to a Miley Cyrus concert, because they liked to see a performer dancing & movies his/her legs. And most Americans can't dance, so they would rather see the singer & performer dancing rather than themselves.
And another reason is because of snobbery. Corporate snobbery. Corporate radio like Clear Channel despised disco & other forms of dance music because they believe it won't sell(The "Always Judge a Book by its Cover" mentality). And Gibson, a guitar company is one of the most popular guitar brands in the US, and they also the most snobbish. They quickly despised synthesizers & turntables, saying that both are "not real instruments". And since many American bands used Gibson guitars, many of them joined the bandwagon of hating Djs & synthesizer players. And that's a snobbish attitude presented in corporate America.
So how will Americans get into the electronic music thingy? Well, there's still some hope. In the late 90's, the Big Beat house movement comprising of DJs like Chemical Brothers, Junkie XL, Fatboy Slim & bands like Prodigy became totally popular, and influenced non-electronic bands like New Radicals, Linkin Park & Crazy Town. And this movement was popular due to its use of joining together guitars & DJing, as well as the rebirth of liberalisation thanks to Clinton & the Cool Britannia movement which exports Fatboy Slim & Paul Oakenfold to the US. And this is what America needs: Another electronic movement similar to the Big Beat movement. And it could be very possible. A new breed of electronic-oriented bands & DJs from the US, Australia & UK in the likes of Justice, Cobra Starship, Hot Chip, MGMT, Pendulum & Bloc Party are making waves in America, and this proves that electronic music is making a comeback to the US. So there is hope.
And here's another comparison: Give an American teenager a song from Tiesto or Sasha, and a reply would rather be like "Fuck this techno sounding shit". But give the same song to a Brit, and he'll reply "Woah mate, this is MASSIVE!"
So yeah, there is a difference in use of electronic music in both US & UK. But why? Why does Americans hate "techno? Why don't the majority of US rock bands use electronic instruments while the UK ones endorsed it?
Well, i've once tried to get some answers from folks at LowYat.net forums and there's no clear answer to it. But there is alot of reasons why. It all starts with "the soccer problem". America is the only nation that doesn't care about football aka soccer. Even if the US hosted the 1994 World Cup, America still doesn't give a shit. Why? Because football is not easy to follow. Baseball, American football and basketball have long since put down deep roots, claimed particular seasons of the year as their own (although they now overlap) and gained the allegiance of the sports-following public. One in particular of those three sports - basketball - poses a singular obstacle to the national acceptance of football. The two are too similar for them both to succeed. Each belongs to the family of games whose object is to put a ball (or similar object) in a goal. Because the two games are similar, they have the same kind of appeal. Both are easy to follow; you can immediately understand the point of each one. The rules and strategies of cricket, baseball, rugby and American football, by contrast, are less straightforward. The action of a basketball game and of a football match are easier to follow than that of other team sports as well because the ball is larger than in cricket and baseball and is never hidden in a tangle of bodies or a scrum, as it is in American football and rugby. And the same applies to electronic music. Rock music like Nirvana and ugh, the Jonas Brothers is easy to listen to, while trance, techno & House requires some melody, repetition & tranquility, three elements that is rare in American music culture.
The second reason is the disco-bashing culture. Americans, especially those folks outside Chicago & NY that hates disco. And it's true. There was a "Disco Sucks" movements which has faded the popularity of many disco entertainers like Larry Levan & Donna Summer. Why? Because disco is loved by the black, European, Asian & gay community, and these communities were despised by middle America. Also, blame it on the US radio conglomerates (Clear Channel, for example) that own and program almost ALL of the radio stations in the US. They don't play dance stuff anymore--except on certain Saturday night programs where they try to give a taste of club sounds to the folks at home or in their cars goin' to the clubs. So when an American listens to some nice house tracks from Hed Kandi or Pete Tong or David Guetta, there's a definitive chance that they'll hate it, since house was evolved from disco.
Another reason is because Americans are not raised with electronic music. If you look at the UK, they are completely raised with the electronic music culture. Shows like Doctor Who & Blake's 7 contains true electronic music soundtracks & theme songs, thanks to a lady named Delia Derbyshire(and using synthesizers are way cheaper than an fully-conducted orchestra). Britain introduced the world to synthesizers through musicians like Brian Eno. And when house DJs like Marshall Jefferson played at London & Manchester clubs, the British quickly endorsed the music, way faster than the Americans. Why? All thanks to Doctor Who & Brian Eno, since many Chicago house musicians used the same equipments by those in British electronic music. Only a small fraction of Americans were raised through electronic music, and this is because that they were either influenced by Doctor Who, or if they've grown up with synthesizers, drum machines & turntables. And it's kinda true. Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails admitted to liking Brian Eno, the Sex Pistols & Doctor Who, and so was Slipknot, Madonna and DJ BT.
I also find that Americans don't get used to a DJ or a synthesizer/drum machine player just standing there playing music & not moving his legs. If you compare a rave party hosted by Armin Van Buuren to a Miley Cyrus concert, many would rather go to a Miley Cyrus concert, because they liked to see a performer dancing & movies his/her legs. And most Americans can't dance, so they would rather see the singer & performer dancing rather than themselves.
And another reason is because of snobbery. Corporate snobbery. Corporate radio like Clear Channel despised disco & other forms of dance music because they believe it won't sell(The "Always Judge a Book by its Cover" mentality). And Gibson, a guitar company is one of the most popular guitar brands in the US, and they also the most snobbish. They quickly despised synthesizers & turntables, saying that both are "not real instruments". And since many American bands used Gibson guitars, many of them joined the bandwagon of hating Djs & synthesizer players. And that's a snobbish attitude presented in corporate America.
So how will Americans get into the electronic music thingy? Well, there's still some hope. In the late 90's, the Big Beat house movement comprising of DJs like Chemical Brothers, Junkie XL, Fatboy Slim & bands like Prodigy became totally popular, and influenced non-electronic bands like New Radicals, Linkin Park & Crazy Town. And this movement was popular due to its use of joining together guitars & DJing, as well as the rebirth of liberalisation thanks to Clinton & the Cool Britannia movement which exports Fatboy Slim & Paul Oakenfold to the US. And this is what America needs: Another electronic movement similar to the Big Beat movement. And it could be very possible. A new breed of electronic-oriented bands & DJs from the US, Australia & UK in the likes of Justice, Cobra Starship, Hot Chip, MGMT, Pendulum & Bloc Party are making waves in America, and this proves that electronic music is making a comeback to the US. So there is hope.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The National Fatwa Council deserves a facepalm
Coming soon: Fatwa on yoga
Oct 29, 08 4:08pm, Malaysiakini
The National Fatwa Council will be issuing a ruling soon relating to yoga exercise, which is deemed to be deviationist in nature for the Muslims.
An announcement on the matter is expected to be made soon by the fatwa council's chairperson Prof Dr Abdul Shukor Husin.
This was revealed by the deputy director-general of the Department of Islamic Development Malaysia (Jakim) Othman Mustapha, reported Bernama today.
Yesterday, UKM lecturer Prof Zakaria Stapa advised Muslims who have taken up yoga - a widely popular exercise which has its roots to India and Hinduism - to stop practising it for fear that it could deviate them from their belief.
"Yoga originated from the Hindu community and it combines spiritual as well as their religious aspects. They believe it brings them closer to their god," he was reported as saying in Berita Harian today.
Zakaria was reported to have said that more Muslims were resorting to yoga exercise to find a balance in their hectic lifestyle.
He added that they should instead apply the Islamic teachings such as prayers to find peace and good health.
"If the Muslims want a healthy body, prayers are the right choice... why must we find alternate ways... a single mistake can deviate our teachings as yoga movements follow the style and tradition of Hinduism," he was reported as saying.
Ban on tomboys
The perils of yoga to the Muslims is learnt to have been discussed at the recently held fatwa council meeting in Kota Baru, Kelantan.
At the fatwa council meeting, the religious scholars have also decided to issue a fatwa against females from dressing or behaving like men and engaging in lesbian sex.
Council chairperson Abdul Shukor had said that many young women admired the way men dress, behave and socialise, violating human nature and denying their feminity.
"It is unacceptable to see women who love the male lifestyle including dressing in the clothes men wear," Abdul Shukor was quoted as saying.
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Idiocracy is coming. If the council really cares about guarding the sanctity of Islamic teachings and values, they should really go around and see what is really happening for themselves. Banning something that has no rationale only creates the notion that Muslims lack the strength of the Islamic faith and easily deviated. Now, that is a real shame. The International community will look at us Malaysians as shallow and narrow minded fools and this will carry some ramifications surely! Next, they will ban Muslims from going to the Gym, then swimming pools, then playing sports....
Monday, October 13, 2008
Inilah Karangan Paling Melampau yang saya pernah baca
Hari ini saya ingin menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu, kerana saya ingin mebuat satu telolz untuk makan hari ini.
D++
Terima Kasih kepada Obefiend yang menulis karangan ini kepada saya
Kita biasa dengar tentang meringkaskan karangan. Begitu juga membuat karangan. Tetapi pernahkah anda mendengar ataupun membaca satu karangan yang dipanggil sebagai karangan melampau? Karangan ini ditulis dengan begitu kejam sekali sehingga orang yang membacanya sukar untuk membayangkan sesuatu keadaan yang cuba digambarkan. Sebagai contoh disertakan karangan tersebut di bawah yang bertajuk
’KEMALANGAN YANG PALING NGERI YANG PERNAH SAYA LIHAT'
Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip.Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu. Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang. Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit ”Adoi!”. Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya.
Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua. Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu. Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit ”Adoi..!” dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris. Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati.
Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.
D++
Terima Kasih kepada Obefiend yang menulis karangan ini kepada saya
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I'll punch anyone who listens to these 5 bands:
What's worse: Today's music or those who listens to today's music? Well if you choose the latter, you're correct. While Hollywood, Hong Kong & The Music of Britain(The MOB) keeps on releasing crap, these two knows how to make their fans look crappier than the crap they're listening two. Here are some 5 bands whose fans i'd like to punch at:
5.The Fray
Music: Sleepy indie music made irritating by mainstream media & Grey's Anatomy. "How to Save A Life" created a new form of torture used in Guantanamo Bay: Irritating Sleep Torture, currently being used in Guantanamo Bay & Kamunting, Perak.
Fans: Anyone who watches Grey's AnatomY. As much as i hate that show, i hate any GAY(Grey's AnatomY) fan who has "How to Save A Life" on their iPods. This song should have been made by Brian Eno and be used for the soundtrack to a Bruce Lee film, not by a bunch of Colorado kids whose song has been used in a shitty overrated drama series.
Better alternative: Radiohead, Brian Eno, Coldplay & any sound that is made by scratching your balls.
4.The Klaxons
Music: Crappy indie music which is considered by the NME as "Nu Rave", eventhough it doesn't sound like rave music at all.
Fans: "Nu Ravers", aka C U N T S. These guys wear shiny rainbow hoodies from Topman and has the personality of bad British yob tourists. They go to Klaxon concerts aka "Nu Raves" where the only sign of a "rave" is basically lots of glowstix and less pops of "e". Actually, to be more clear, a "rave" basically consists of youths like me going to MOS and Global Gathering or even islands like Ibiza where we basically pop Es, watch some glowstick dances and shuffles, and sleep in the middle of the road at night. If anyone calls themselves a "nu raver", i will punch their face, and take a knife and cut off their balls(which is the only good thing about knife crime).
Better alternative: Hadouken, Hot Chip, Nine Inch Nails or any acid house/hard rock fusion bands like New Order or Happy Mondays.
3.The Jonas Brothers
Music: Here's a word: Disney. Therefore, it's basically a boyband trio disguised as a "rock band". If you heard songs like "Mandy" or "SOS" right now in the radio, turn it off, NOW!
Fans: Two words: teenage girls. And since most teenage girls are Jonas Brothers fans, here are some "quotes":
OMG THEYR LYKE SO HOTTT!!!!
OMG YOUR GAY AND JEALOUS BECAUSE JOES & NICK JONAS IS HANDSOME AND YOUR NOT!!!
OMG JOE JONAS, MARRY ME!!!!
OMG (ADD SOMETHING)
If you're an MP reading this right now, please pass a law that will send every female Jonas Brothers fans to the ISA jail in Kamunting. We have learnt fromt he torture of Hanson, should we suffer enough?
Better alternatives: A rant from Khairy Jamaluddin is more listenable than this piece of shit.
2.Any fucking Chinese/Taiwanese/Fuckinese Boy Band
Music: Rap & R&B in Chinese with music videos featuring them doing dances way douchier than New Kids on the Block
Fans: lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs,lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas and fucking ah bengs!
Better alternatives: A Beijing Soap Opera.
1.Fall Out Boy
Music: Let's see, we've got a closeted gay man and a fat kid singing in a band together, with songs like "Thanks for the Memory" bleeding more ears than a 15 Million BPM Splittercore Track.
Fans: Anyone who's "mainstream" by anyone's definition. Go to a mainstreamer, check out their iPod and if they have "Fall Out Boy" in their playlist, destroy it immediately! Then abduct them and torture so hard that you could make a sequel to Saw or Salo out of it!
Better alternatives: Arctic Monkeys. That's as far as it goes.
If you're offended, then you can go fuck yourselves. Yes, there is a thing called "taste", but in my opinion my taste is better than yours, and your opinion is shit. Thank you.
5.The Fray
Music: Sleepy indie music made irritating by mainstream media & Grey's Anatomy. "How to Save A Life" created a new form of torture used in Guantanamo Bay: Irritating Sleep Torture, currently being used in Guantanamo Bay & Kamunting, Perak.
Fans: Anyone who watches Grey's AnatomY. As much as i hate that show, i hate any GAY(Grey's AnatomY) fan who has "How to Save A Life" on their iPods. This song should have been made by Brian Eno and be used for the soundtrack to a Bruce Lee film, not by a bunch of Colorado kids whose song has been used in a shitty overrated drama series.
Better alternative: Radiohead, Brian Eno, Coldplay & any sound that is made by scratching your balls.
4.The Klaxons
Music: Crappy indie music which is considered by the NME as "Nu Rave", eventhough it doesn't sound like rave music at all.
Fans: "Nu Ravers", aka C U N T S. These guys wear shiny rainbow hoodies from Topman and has the personality of bad British yob tourists. They go to Klaxon concerts aka "Nu Raves" where the only sign of a "rave" is basically lots of glowstix and less pops of "e". Actually, to be more clear, a "rave" basically consists of youths like me going to MOS and Global Gathering or even islands like Ibiza where we basically pop Es, watch some glowstick dances and shuffles, and sleep in the middle of the road at night. If anyone calls themselves a "nu raver", i will punch their face, and take a knife and cut off their balls(which is the only good thing about knife crime).
Better alternative: Hadouken, Hot Chip, Nine Inch Nails or any acid house/hard rock fusion bands like New Order or Happy Mondays.
3.The Jonas Brothers
Music: Here's a word: Disney. Therefore, it's basically a boyband trio disguised as a "rock band". If you heard songs like "Mandy" or "SOS" right now in the radio, turn it off, NOW!
Fans: Two words: teenage girls. And since most teenage girls are Jonas Brothers fans, here are some "quotes":
OMG THEYR LYKE SO HOTTT!!!!
OMG YOUR GAY AND JEALOUS BECAUSE JOES & NICK JONAS IS HANDSOME AND YOUR NOT!!!
OMG JOE JONAS, MARRY ME!!!!
OMG (ADD SOMETHING)
If you're an MP reading this right now, please pass a law that will send every female Jonas Brothers fans to the ISA jail in Kamunting. We have learnt fromt he torture of Hanson, should we suffer enough?
Better alternatives: A rant from Khairy Jamaluddin is more listenable than this piece of shit.
2.Any fucking Chinese/Taiwanese/Fuckinese Boy Band
Music: Rap & R&B in Chinese with music videos featuring them doing dances way douchier than New Kids on the Block
Fans: lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs,lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas, ah bengs, lalas and fucking ah bengs!
Better alternatives: A Beijing Soap Opera.
1.Fall Out Boy
Music: Let's see, we've got a closeted gay man and a fat kid singing in a band together, with songs like "Thanks for the Memory" bleeding more ears than a 15 Million BPM Splittercore Track.
Fans: Anyone who's "mainstream" by anyone's definition. Go to a mainstreamer, check out their iPod and if they have "Fall Out Boy" in their playlist, destroy it immediately! Then abduct them and torture so hard that you could make a sequel to Saw or Salo out of it!
Better alternatives: Arctic Monkeys. That's as far as it goes.
If you're offended, then you can go fuck yourselves. Yes, there is a thing called "taste", but in my opinion my taste is better than yours, and your opinion is shit. Thank you.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Let's Stop Scaring Our Kids, says New York author
It's 7:35 on the Today show-the time reserved for big, national stories. (George Clooney isn't scheduled till later.) Ann Curry is speaking directly to the camera, her face friendly but concerned because her next guest just may be insane. "So," she asks her six million viewers, "is she an enlightened mom or a really bad one?"
The shot widens to reveal … me.
My son, Izzy, is by my side, stuffed with NBC's free cookies, both of us here because I'd recently left him, deliberately, in the first-floor handbag department of the Manhattan Bloomingdale's.
He was nine and had been begging me to please let him find his way home from someplace-anyplace-on the subway, by himself. After all, we live in New York City, and getting around by public transit is a basic part of life, like yelling at cabbies in the crosswalk. It's also a rite of passage, the first step toward feeling grown-up. So on that sunny Sunday, I gave him a subway map, a transit card, $20 for emergencies, and a couple of quarters in case he had to call me. (No, no cell phone. Nine-year-olds lose things.)
Despite a tiny twinge, however, I had no intention of losing him. New York today is as safe as it was in 1963, making it almost embarrassingly ungritty-but reassuring. So I waved goodbye and left in the other direction. After 45 minutes, he arrived home, far more tickled than your average commuter.
A few days later, I wrote about his adventure, or nonadventure, for my paper, the New York Sun. Little did I realize this would be the Subway Ride Heard Round the World.
Somehow the idea that a kid could navigate the city on his own, and that a mom would let him, was big news. Huge! It turned out the Today show interview was just the first of the day. After I dropped Izzy off at school, I sped up to MSNBC to talk about his ride again. When Fox News called, I turned around and grabbed him back out of school, and off we zoomed to Neil Cavuto. The segment got more feedback than the Bear Stearns bailout hearing.
Pretty soon, NPR was calling. Newsweek. The BBC. Malta. Bloggers were going crazy, so I started a blog, too, Free Range Kids, and letters came pouring in: "Bravo!" vs. "Why didn't child services come to your door?" Then came a call from the South China Morning Post: Izzy's story was perfect for Asia.
"But why?" I asked the reporter. "Isn't everyone there, like, outside together, riding bikes? Sort of the opposite of New York?"
Biking or not, she said, the people in China are much more fearful these days. They don't trust their neighbors the way they used to. They don't let their kids out as much. And that's when I finally realized why this was such a big story: Worldwide, we have become terrified for our children.
The things we did as kids without thinking twice-walking to a friend's house, playing in the park, staying out till the streetlights came on-have somehow morphed into acts of daring on a par with shark hunting in a hamburger suit.
One dad I spoke to won't allow his eight-year-old to play in his own driveway. Another suburban dad "lets" his 12-year-old walk the single block to her friend's house, so long as she calls him the second she arrives.
Even my best friend confided that when she and her own 12-year-old split up at the mall for the few minutes it takes to grab food from separate food-court restaurants, she's "nervous the whole time." My friend was a Harvard math major, so she is perfectly aware of probability and statistics and that the odds of anything bad happening to her daughter are tiny.
Doesn't matter. "I'm comfortable being nervous," she said.
Fear is hardly a new parental emotion, of course. It has kept us Homo sapiens cleverly running and hiding for millennia, and I certainly have my share of it ("Stop! That stick is way too short for toasting your marshmallow!"). But the fear of letting our children out of sight for even a second-that's new. And it feeds not only on legitimate angst but also on a steady diet of peer pressure. "Powerful cultural pressures incite parents to regard every childhood experience from the standpoint of the worst possible outcome," says Paranoid Parenting author Frank Furedi. "To do otherwise is to be seen as an 'irresponsible parent.'"
And so I receive an e-mail about a father who's contemplating following his daughter's field trip to make sure she's safe, even as a mom in an upscale Atlanta community admits that she won't let her daughter go to the mailbox alone because in her quiet suburban neighborhood, there would be no witnesses if someone were to snatch her daughter.
The upshot: Drive through most suburban streets and it's as if the kids have been vacuumed up with the lawn trimmings. How did this happen? How did it become too scary to let kids be kids?
"TV," says Trevor Butterworth, an editor at the media watchdog group stats.org. "Cable TV exists to scare the pants off you." That's how it gets you to stay tuned. And what is scarier than a kidnapped kid-no matter how far away?
Thanks to a steady stream of those stories, it starts to feel as if kidnappings are happening all the time, on a Schwinn near you. But they're not, says David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. "Crimes against kids are down to levels we haven't seen since the early '70s."
"'Stranger danger' cases are the ones that make the big headlines," says Corwin Ritchie, executive director of the Iowa County Attorneys Association. "But that's not the typical child-abuse case. The typical case involves an acquaintance of the child."
The fact is, children are 40 times more likely to die in a car accident, and that doesn't stop us from driving them to karate. Car accidents, after all, are still considered exactly that-accidents. But we blame parents, the way we used to blame rape victims, for "letting" anything happen to their children. If tragedy ever befell our child, we wouldn't just be heartbroken. We all know we'd be there on CNN with a pseudo- sympathetic host asking, "Why? Why did you let her scooter to her piano lesson?" And then they'd cut to a commercial to build the tension.
That's why the kid-on-the-subway story struck people so profoundly. Here was a mom on TV saying what a million other newscasts never do: Kids can leave the home without a police detail and survive!
Izzy probably put it best. Like all of us who'd grown up with the freedom to play tag, fall off the monkey bars, and chase the mosquito spray truck, he didn't think it was a big deal. "It was fun," he said. Plus, being on national TV meant that he missed math class. Sometimes it really pays to be brave.
http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/is-it-just-me-lets-stop-scaring-our-kids/article101787-1.html
Bravo to the mom. People need to stop wussifying our kids nowadays. It is ridiculous. In Tokyo, I see little kids in elementary school roaming around the subway stations all the time. Friend's son of mine does a 30+ minute commute by himself. Even if Tokyo is safer, New York is not that unsafe. Grow up time has arrived for adults.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Blogger's Block!
I'm suffering under blogger's block. Therefore I'm not able to post anything until i found a fresh idea.
In the meantime,
In the meantime,
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Why Myspace sucks ass, and i now have the freedom to say that!
Social networking sites come and go. Facebook may be the next victim, but currently i'm quite satisfied with Facebook. Ever since i started joining the social networking bandwagon with Friendster in 2003, it changed the way i view the Internet forever. I became addicted to Friendster, because of how it's more interactive than ICQ.
Then Myspace arrived. As i started my Cempaka years at Form 2, i've decided to check upon Myspace, because morons like fellow classmate Aina Syahirah told me to. Upon signing up on Myspace, i've realised that i've joined a site that will give me eyesores for the next 3 years.
I started using Myspace due to the hype that surrounds it. Unlike Friendster, you can add "things" into your profile. And by things i meant by crappy pop music, asinine backgrounds, lame music videos and torturous CSS programs. And as a result, these "things" have slowed down my computer's hard drive & Internet bandwidth. Therefore, i've decided to stay loyal with Friendster, because atleast Friendster is more simple and faster than Myspace.
But i still kept my Myspace profile. Why? Because i usually access alot of musicians through Myspace. But as time goes by, the Myspace experience will bore me to death like a bad Nicolas Cage movie. While i have 300+ friends on Friendster, i only have 53 friends on Myspace, and that's because i'm too lazy to surf on Myspace. And it gets worse with the recent security incodents, bad press (tonight at 11, myspace dangers) targering paranoid parents, spam background , teenage following, and theories about being the primary traffic source of YouTube. These creepy stories kept me turned off by Myspace.
And it gets sadder for Friendster too. They are trying too hard to compete against Myspace, that they are copying everything Myspace has done by adding CSS options, and it gets me more pissed off on Friendster. It's kinda sad that your favourite networking site is trying to be the networking you loate all day long.
And let's not forget the Myspace Angle. Douchebags and Bitches who pose on their profiles looking like complete dicks of themselves. I don't have the looks for a Myspace Angle, and neither 70% of Myspace users. But these 70% of users are the ones who do the angle, and i always cringe when i look at them. If i want to pose myself on a Myspace profile, i'll just stick to a photoshop of Rooney sucking Ronaldo's dick.
And when 2008 arrived, came Facebook. While Myspace is still suffering from problems, and Friendster has totally become a 100% Myspace wannabe, i've decided to switch to Facebook. And thank god i've did the right decision, because Facebook is what i've dreamt of: simple & non-pretentious. No useless CSS bacgrounds, no annoying music players & no crappy profile photos. I'm happy with Facebook, for now. While Myspace is losing popularity and is now becoming more corporate, let's hope that the beloved Facebook won't suffer the same fate for years to come.
And if you're still using Myspace, then may God save your soul.
Then Myspace arrived. As i started my Cempaka years at Form 2, i've decided to check upon Myspace, because morons like fellow classmate Aina Syahirah told me to. Upon signing up on Myspace, i've realised that i've joined a site that will give me eyesores for the next 3 years.
I started using Myspace due to the hype that surrounds it. Unlike Friendster, you can add "things" into your profile. And by things i meant by crappy pop music, asinine backgrounds, lame music videos and torturous CSS programs. And as a result, these "things" have slowed down my computer's hard drive & Internet bandwidth. Therefore, i've decided to stay loyal with Friendster, because atleast Friendster is more simple and faster than Myspace.
But i still kept my Myspace profile. Why? Because i usually access alot of musicians through Myspace. But as time goes by, the Myspace experience will bore me to death like a bad Nicolas Cage movie. While i have 300+ friends on Friendster, i only have 53 friends on Myspace, and that's because i'm too lazy to surf on Myspace. And it gets worse with the recent security incodents, bad press (tonight at 11, myspace dangers) targering paranoid parents, spam background , teenage following, and theories about being the primary traffic source of YouTube. These creepy stories kept me turned off by Myspace.
And it gets sadder for Friendster too. They are trying too hard to compete against Myspace, that they are copying everything Myspace has done by adding CSS options, and it gets me more pissed off on Friendster. It's kinda sad that your favourite networking site is trying to be the networking you loate all day long.
And let's not forget the Myspace Angle. Douchebags and Bitches who pose on their profiles looking like complete dicks of themselves. I don't have the looks for a Myspace Angle, and neither 70% of Myspace users. But these 70% of users are the ones who do the angle, and i always cringe when i look at them. If i want to pose myself on a Myspace profile, i'll just stick to a photoshop of Rooney sucking Ronaldo's dick.
And when 2008 arrived, came Facebook. While Myspace is still suffering from problems, and Friendster has totally become a 100% Myspace wannabe, i've decided to switch to Facebook. And thank god i've did the right decision, because Facebook is what i've dreamt of: simple & non-pretentious. No useless CSS bacgrounds, no annoying music players & no crappy profile photos. I'm happy with Facebook, for now. While Myspace is losing popularity and is now becoming more corporate, let's hope that the beloved Facebook won't suffer the same fate for years to come.
And if you're still using Myspace, then may God save your soul.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Former beauty queen from Alaska runs as McCain's VP....seriously?
I want to run away from the Malaysian politics this Ramadhan, so therefore i've switched to American politics this time.
So we all heard that McCain spit that gum ball out of his mouth to announce Sarah Palin as his running mate. Talk about gimmicks. This was clearly done to try and steal the disgruntled Hillary fans (Jeannie??).
Man, if somehow George McCain (intentional) is elected, God forbid anything happen to the geezer. If he kicks the bucket we are going to have a Polar Bear-hating former beauty queen Vice President. Hopefully, she doesn’t speak like another former beauty queen.
Watch this and you'll definitely laugh.
I have watched this video close to 500 times. It is quite possibly the funniest thing ever.
The best quote I’ve seen so far on McCain and Palin:
From the Wall Street Journal - Washington Wire. Tap it, John!
PS: other than that, do you know that Sarah's 17 year old daughter, Bristol Palin is rumoured to be pregnant? Yup, shows how much of epic failure "Republican Family Values" are. I mean, just look at Bristol on the right of the photo:
You'll be the judge.
So we all heard that McCain spit that gum ball out of his mouth to announce Sarah Palin as his running mate. Talk about gimmicks. This was clearly done to try and steal the disgruntled Hillary fans (Jeannie??).
Man, if somehow George McCain (intentional) is elected, God forbid anything happen to the geezer. If he kicks the bucket we are going to have a Polar Bear-hating former beauty queen Vice President. Hopefully, she doesn’t speak like another former beauty queen.
Watch this and you'll definitely laugh.
"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because uh some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for."
~Lauren Caitlin Upton (Miss South Carolina)
I have watched this video close to 500 times. It is quite possibly the funniest thing ever.
The best quote I’ve seen so far on McCain and Palin:
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin rocketed on to the national political stage today after John McCain tapped her to run as his running mate against Sens. Barack Obama and Joe Biden.
From the Wall Street Journal - Washington Wire. Tap it, John!
PS: other than that, do you know that Sarah's 17 year old daughter, Bristol Palin is rumoured to be pregnant? Yup, shows how much of epic failure "Republican Family Values" are. I mean, just look at Bristol on the right of the photo:
You'll be the judge.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Fuck Klaxons & Oasis: 5 Underrated British Bands of the Past & Present
Whenever you hear some guy saying that their favourite British bands are Radiohead, Sex Pistols, Klaxons, Muse, Oasis & The Rolling Stones, tell them to shut the fuck up. I don't hate them(Infact, i like most of the bands mentioned), but i just think that these guys have not heard many other bands from the UK. Why? Because these guys have not heard the real sounds of British rock. And what are these sounds? Well, here are 5 most underrated British bands o the Past & the Present(& maybe the future):
5.Hot Chip.
Formed in 2000, Hot Chip comprised of 5 men. Their sounds are a mixture of Britpop, acid house & new wave, and they are considered by most Brits to be better than so-called "nu rave" bands like The Klaxons. And all 5 have DJ talents and played a live DJ set together on BBC Radio 1's Essential Mix. Sadly, they are still overshadowed by the Klaxons. Check out their songs:
One Pure Thought
Ready For The Floor
4.The Sunshine Underground
he Sunshine Underground are an English, Leeds based indie rock band. Their singles, "Put You in Your Place", "Commercial Breakdown" and "I Ain't Losing Any Sleep" are a favourite among the indie scene. You may hate indies, but may not hate The Sunshine Underground.
Put You In Your Place
Commercial Breakdown
3.808 State
Formed by Graham Massey in Manchester during the acid house period of 1988, this band mixes acid house with pot-punk music and Slash-styled heavy metal beats. Their genres ranged from metal to ambient. And their music has inspired the likes of Aphex Twin, Tiesto, Depeche Mode, Chemical Brothers & even Panic! at the Disco. Their hits are Cubik, Pacific & In Yer Face.
Cubik
In yer Face
Pacific State
2.KLF
Before the birth of IDM, KLF were the pioneers of intelligent rock & electronic music of the acid era. Formed in 1987, their music were an inspiration from Doctor Who, 70's punk & house music. Sadly, they only survive for 5 years, only to be reborn as the K Foundation & 2K. But they still, they rock. Their hit songs include "Last Train to Trancentral", "Doctorin' The Tardis" and "Justified And Ancient".
Last Train to Trancentral
Doctorin' The Tardis
Justified And Ancient
1.New Order
You may ask "Aren't they too famous to be here?" Well, i think that there's a lack of respect for New Order in the 21st century. Eventhough their music is in American Psycho & Marie Antoinette, and they were portrayed in 24 Hour Party People & Control, they are still not as well known in this gen-y era(IMO). But still, if you don't know who New Order is, here's an intro: After lead singer of Joy Division, Ian Curtis died, lead guitarist Bernard Summer in 1982 created a new band called New Order, and they brought in the beautiful Gillian Gilbert to their band. This band is a mixture of Krautrock, rave & New wave. And even when Gilbert left, they are still rocking with new lead Phil Cunningham in 2005. Their famous songs are "Bizarre Love Triangle", "Blue Monday" and "Fine Time".
Blue Monday
Bizarre Love Triangle
Fine Time
Rave On!
5.Hot Chip.
Formed in 2000, Hot Chip comprised of 5 men. Their sounds are a mixture of Britpop, acid house & new wave, and they are considered by most Brits to be better than so-called "nu rave" bands like The Klaxons. And all 5 have DJ talents and played a live DJ set together on BBC Radio 1's Essential Mix. Sadly, they are still overshadowed by the Klaxons. Check out their songs:
One Pure Thought
Ready For The Floor
4.The Sunshine Underground
he Sunshine Underground are an English, Leeds based indie rock band. Their singles, "Put You in Your Place", "Commercial Breakdown" and "I Ain't Losing Any Sleep" are a favourite among the indie scene. You may hate indies, but may not hate The Sunshine Underground.
Put You In Your Place
Commercial Breakdown
3.808 State
Formed by Graham Massey in Manchester during the acid house period of 1988, this band mixes acid house with pot-punk music and Slash-styled heavy metal beats. Their genres ranged from metal to ambient. And their music has inspired the likes of Aphex Twin, Tiesto, Depeche Mode, Chemical Brothers & even Panic! at the Disco. Their hits are Cubik, Pacific & In Yer Face.
Cubik
In yer Face
Pacific State
2.KLF
Before the birth of IDM, KLF were the pioneers of intelligent rock & electronic music of the acid era. Formed in 1987, their music were an inspiration from Doctor Who, 70's punk & house music. Sadly, they only survive for 5 years, only to be reborn as the K Foundation & 2K. But they still, they rock. Their hit songs include "Last Train to Trancentral", "Doctorin' The Tardis" and "Justified And Ancient".
Last Train to Trancentral
Doctorin' The Tardis
Justified And Ancient
1.New Order
You may ask "Aren't they too famous to be here?" Well, i think that there's a lack of respect for New Order in the 21st century. Eventhough their music is in American Psycho & Marie Antoinette, and they were portrayed in 24 Hour Party People & Control, they are still not as well known in this gen-y era(IMO). But still, if you don't know who New Order is, here's an intro: After lead singer of Joy Division, Ian Curtis died, lead guitarist Bernard Summer in 1982 created a new band called New Order, and they brought in the beautiful Gillian Gilbert to their band. This band is a mixture of Krautrock, rave & New wave. And even when Gilbert left, they are still rocking with new lead Phil Cunningham in 2005. Their famous songs are "Bizarre Love Triangle", "Blue Monday" and "Fine Time".
Blue Monday
Bizarre Love Triangle
Fine Time
Rave On!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The Politics Of Fear... Not A Monopoly In Malaysia
by AMUbaidahS
I was at Bukit Merah for a break with the family and on my wife's prompting, we took a detour north to see how things were at Permatang Pauh over the by-election campaign weekend. This write-up is not so much about what we saw, but more about the emotive elements that I have been observing over this by-election, which I am concerned may be symptomatic.
The idea of us at least doing a drive-through of Permatang Pauh over the school break was not really new. I had an open invitation by an UMNO Ketua Pemuda to join him on campaign and I was 'made aware' of KuLi's visit on Saturday. However, each invitation was laced with a cautionary notes such as:
1.
Don't bring your car, or at least bring your old Waja, not your MPV, as hooligans have been throwing stones and scratching cars of BN campaigners.
2.
It may not be safe for you to bring your family along on the visit, even if you are just passing through.
3.
We are staying at so and so place, and you're welcomed to bunk in with us. All the hotels are booked up. If you wish to just 'tumpang', watch out where you go. Some mosques may be full of the hooligans camping out.
4.
Your sure you really want to go ka? Is it worth the trouble you may get into there? Consider this carefully before you go...
It used to be that UMNO internal elections were more viscious than Parliamentary ones, and it hardly ever got physical, but supposedly things have changed. I thought this was all a load of crock as I had fond memories of joining election campaigns even when I was a child, so we went to Permatang Pauh anyway.
What greeted us was very much what I expected, a massive poster war going on, campaigners milling about, especially in local gathering spots like Kedai Kopi's, and local folk, trying to live their normal lives through the greater excitement. There did not appear to be any outwardly menacing indicators, other than the rather aggressive, and in some cases, excesively negative campaign materiel.
Nevertheless...
Our son needed the toilet and we stopped at a kedai kopi along a road that dead-ended at a Malay kampung. The area was clearly PKR dominated, Permatang Pauh is Anwar's hometown after all, and we could see party volunteers chatting up the locals at the kedai kopi. My wife took my boy in whilst I stayed in the car with the other kids. Nothing happened, but I couldn't help feeling unsettled...
Unlike in Langkawi, Kuala Kedah or back in KL, where I would be happy to jump into a partisan anti-UMNO crowd of followers and engage in conversation of the provocative type, something stopped me from doing the same that day. I could not blame the advice of others or my wife's own nervousness of my driving an MPV into Permatang Pauh with a pro-Tun Dr M car sticker at the back for spooking me. It was something else...
To say Permatang Pauh is Anwar's stronghold or even his kampung would be belittling the importance of the contest to his political life. For Anwar, Permatang Pauh has been a symbol of his enduring survival as a politician. The only constituency that never forgot nor abandoned him, even when the rest of the country was willing to give the new guy a chance in PRU-11, then consigning Anwar to history. Had Permatang Pauh chosen BN in 2004...
So Permatang Pauh as Anwar's choice for a return to Parliament was both a surprise and not so. Not a surprise as it is where he is most likely to win, but not so as he would certainly be returned to his political grave if he is beaten there. This is why it would have been dangerous for any smart aleck pro-Mahathir UMNO member to go lone-campaigner in a middle of rural Anwar-ville. It may have gained me some experience, but for Anwar and his people, it is about survival.
Nevertheless...
So I was actually quite unsurprised to see the claims by one of the four imams who witnessed Saiful's confession that the Quran-swearing was invalid and ingenuine. I was unsurprised as the imam Ramlang Porigi was from the area, nigh 'se-kampung' with Anwar. And of course Ramlang Porigi came forward voluntarily. He had to. You only need to hear the language of his 'expose' to realise why:
1.
"...he had not conspired with anyone in relation to Saiful’s ’swearing on the Qur’an’ episode."
2.
"...he was now facing attacks."
3.
"...he had nothing to do with the preparation of the text of that which Saiful uttered..."
4.
"...he asked that the people of Permatang Pauh would not fault him for this entire episode."
Ramlang Porigi was afraid. Assuming he, as a religious man, was speaking sincerely, that does not detract from the fact that the language he used begged to be excused and forgiven by his kampung folk for 'betraying' their local hero, Anwar Ibrahim. That Ramlang Porigi was brave is not an issue, he was trying to survive and retain his license to come back to his kampung without being harassed for his involvement in the Saiful Quran-swearing event.
One must be sympathetic of the position Ramlang was put in. He made clear that he did not ask to be involved in these events, he was doing his job. But certainly it must have been most painful for him to have been exposed as one involved, as he would have been 'attacked' not just by anonymous Anwaristas on the web, but by his kampung folk, family members even!
Nevertheless...
There has always been an undercurrent of fanatacism surrounding Anwar that brings discomfort to many. One recalled his fiery days as a student leader, then youth activist. And even whilst he wraped himself with civility in government and helped re-draw the AUKU act, that would curtail the rise of another like him, he always has others around him who would attack when needed. Remember the Anwarista led UMNO Youth attack on anti-Burma junta protesters in the 1990's?
I was unsurprised at his reaction to removal from government in the late 90's. I am somewhat unsurprised at the type of emotions, fanatacism and actions he is inciting now. If anything, the added vitriol in his rhetoric following Saiful's allegations are also consistent with his past behaviour. The man attacks when cornered, especially when it is a matter of his survival. And when he attacks, his loyal followers attack with him.
Nevertheless...
I remain stunned that Malaysians have turned a blind eye to this naked, very un-Malaysian aggression that underlies Anwar's on-going, unrelenting quest for power. There are parallels that anti-UMNO folk wish to draw between Ketuanan Melayu and Nazism, though they conveniently turn a blind eye to the parallels between Anwar's and Hitler's rise to power!
As a student of history, the parallels are unmistakable. Both Anwar and Hitler were early under-achievers, rising in politics through aggressive social activism, one bordering, the other actual in perpetrating violence. Both cut down to size in their early prime, surviving, then rising again, to the point of leading a populist, yet minority grouping in Parliament. The parallels are not exact, but enough to scare. Add to that Hitler's early popularity abroad as a saviour of Germany...
Violence and aggression has never been the Malaysian way. And it seems in our desparation for a change in leadership, much as the Germans were desparate in the early 1930's, too many of us are turning to Anwar as a saviour whilst blinded of the pitfalls by the troubles of Pak Lah. Are we sure Anwar is the saviour of the nation? Or is he another for us to regret and lament trusting later?
The one Anwar-Hitler parallel that is also apparent to me from events of late, news and private, is the propensity to incite fanatical aggression and violence. We should just be grateful that Malaysians are a generally more peaceful lot.
Nevertheless... the politics of fear is not a monopoly in Malaysia...
Updates and debate on http://thoughtsintangents.blogspot.com/2008/08/politics-of-fear-not-monopoly-in.html
A brilliantly written article explaining the hypocrisy of Anwar & its supporters.
Speaking of fear, check out this documentary called "The Possibility of Hope". It was released on the Children of Men DVD, and it explores the intersection between the film's themes(infertility, totalitarianism, environmental damage & fear) and reality with a critical analysis by eminent scholars: the Slovenian sociologist and philosopher Slavoj Žižek , anti-globalization activist Naomi Klein, futurist James Lovelock, sociologist Saskia Sassen, human geographer Fabrizio Eva, cultural theorist Tzvetan Todorov, and philosopher and economist John N. Gray. Here's the docu released on 3 parts:
by AMUbaidahS
I was at Bukit Merah for a break with the family and on my wife's prompting, we took a detour north to see how things were at Permatang Pauh over the by-election campaign weekend. This write-up is not so much about what we saw, but more about the emotive elements that I have been observing over this by-election, which I am concerned may be symptomatic.
The idea of us at least doing a drive-through of Permatang Pauh over the school break was not really new. I had an open invitation by an UMNO Ketua Pemuda to join him on campaign and I was 'made aware' of KuLi's visit on Saturday. However, each invitation was laced with a cautionary notes such as:
1.
Don't bring your car, or at least bring your old Waja, not your MPV, as hooligans have been throwing stones and scratching cars of BN campaigners.
2.
It may not be safe for you to bring your family along on the visit, even if you are just passing through.
3.
We are staying at so and so place, and you're welcomed to bunk in with us. All the hotels are booked up. If you wish to just 'tumpang', watch out where you go. Some mosques may be full of the hooligans camping out.
4.
Your sure you really want to go ka? Is it worth the trouble you may get into there? Consider this carefully before you go...
It used to be that UMNO internal elections were more viscious than Parliamentary ones, and it hardly ever got physical, but supposedly things have changed. I thought this was all a load of crock as I had fond memories of joining election campaigns even when I was a child, so we went to Permatang Pauh anyway.
What greeted us was very much what I expected, a massive poster war going on, campaigners milling about, especially in local gathering spots like Kedai Kopi's, and local folk, trying to live their normal lives through the greater excitement. There did not appear to be any outwardly menacing indicators, other than the rather aggressive, and in some cases, excesively negative campaign materiel.
Nevertheless...
Our son needed the toilet and we stopped at a kedai kopi along a road that dead-ended at a Malay kampung. The area was clearly PKR dominated, Permatang Pauh is Anwar's hometown after all, and we could see party volunteers chatting up the locals at the kedai kopi. My wife took my boy in whilst I stayed in the car with the other kids. Nothing happened, but I couldn't help feeling unsettled...
Unlike in Langkawi, Kuala Kedah or back in KL, where I would be happy to jump into a partisan anti-UMNO crowd of followers and engage in conversation of the provocative type, something stopped me from doing the same that day. I could not blame the advice of others or my wife's own nervousness of my driving an MPV into Permatang Pauh with a pro-Tun Dr M car sticker at the back for spooking me. It was something else...
To say Permatang Pauh is Anwar's stronghold or even his kampung would be belittling the importance of the contest to his political life. For Anwar, Permatang Pauh has been a symbol of his enduring survival as a politician. The only constituency that never forgot nor abandoned him, even when the rest of the country was willing to give the new guy a chance in PRU-11, then consigning Anwar to history. Had Permatang Pauh chosen BN in 2004...
So Permatang Pauh as Anwar's choice for a return to Parliament was both a surprise and not so. Not a surprise as it is where he is most likely to win, but not so as he would certainly be returned to his political grave if he is beaten there. This is why it would have been dangerous for any smart aleck pro-Mahathir UMNO member to go lone-campaigner in a middle of rural Anwar-ville. It may have gained me some experience, but for Anwar and his people, it is about survival.
Nevertheless...
So I was actually quite unsurprised to see the claims by one of the four imams who witnessed Saiful's confession that the Quran-swearing was invalid and ingenuine. I was unsurprised as the imam Ramlang Porigi was from the area, nigh 'se-kampung' with Anwar. And of course Ramlang Porigi came forward voluntarily. He had to. You only need to hear the language of his 'expose' to realise why:
1.
"...he had not conspired with anyone in relation to Saiful’s ’swearing on the Qur’an’ episode."
2.
"...he was now facing attacks."
3.
"...he had nothing to do with the preparation of the text of that which Saiful uttered..."
4.
"...he asked that the people of Permatang Pauh would not fault him for this entire episode."
Ramlang Porigi was afraid. Assuming he, as a religious man, was speaking sincerely, that does not detract from the fact that the language he used begged to be excused and forgiven by his kampung folk for 'betraying' their local hero, Anwar Ibrahim. That Ramlang Porigi was brave is not an issue, he was trying to survive and retain his license to come back to his kampung without being harassed for his involvement in the Saiful Quran-swearing event.
One must be sympathetic of the position Ramlang was put in. He made clear that he did not ask to be involved in these events, he was doing his job. But certainly it must have been most painful for him to have been exposed as one involved, as he would have been 'attacked' not just by anonymous Anwaristas on the web, but by his kampung folk, family members even!
Nevertheless...
There has always been an undercurrent of fanatacism surrounding Anwar that brings discomfort to many. One recalled his fiery days as a student leader, then youth activist. And even whilst he wraped himself with civility in government and helped re-draw the AUKU act, that would curtail the rise of another like him, he always has others around him who would attack when needed. Remember the Anwarista led UMNO Youth attack on anti-Burma junta protesters in the 1990's?
I was unsurprised at his reaction to removal from government in the late 90's. I am somewhat unsurprised at the type of emotions, fanatacism and actions he is inciting now. If anything, the added vitriol in his rhetoric following Saiful's allegations are also consistent with his past behaviour. The man attacks when cornered, especially when it is a matter of his survival. And when he attacks, his loyal followers attack with him.
Nevertheless...
I remain stunned that Malaysians have turned a blind eye to this naked, very un-Malaysian aggression that underlies Anwar's on-going, unrelenting quest for power. There are parallels that anti-UMNO folk wish to draw between Ketuanan Melayu and Nazism, though they conveniently turn a blind eye to the parallels between Anwar's and Hitler's rise to power!
As a student of history, the parallels are unmistakable. Both Anwar and Hitler were early under-achievers, rising in politics through aggressive social activism, one bordering, the other actual in perpetrating violence. Both cut down to size in their early prime, surviving, then rising again, to the point of leading a populist, yet minority grouping in Parliament. The parallels are not exact, but enough to scare. Add to that Hitler's early popularity abroad as a saviour of Germany...
Violence and aggression has never been the Malaysian way. And it seems in our desparation for a change in leadership, much as the Germans were desparate in the early 1930's, too many of us are turning to Anwar as a saviour whilst blinded of the pitfalls by the troubles of Pak Lah. Are we sure Anwar is the saviour of the nation? Or is he another for us to regret and lament trusting later?
The one Anwar-Hitler parallel that is also apparent to me from events of late, news and private, is the propensity to incite fanatical aggression and violence. We should just be grateful that Malaysians are a generally more peaceful lot.
Nevertheless... the politics of fear is not a monopoly in Malaysia...
Updates and debate on http://thoughtsintangents.blogspot.com/2008/08/politics-of-fear-not-monopoly-in.html
A brilliantly written article explaining the hypocrisy of Anwar & its supporters.
Speaking of fear, check out this documentary called "The Possibility of Hope". It was released on the Children of Men DVD, and it explores the intersection between the film's themes(infertility, totalitarianism, environmental damage & fear) and reality with a critical analysis by eminent scholars: the Slovenian sociologist and philosopher Slavoj Žižek , anti-globalization activist Naomi Klein, futurist James Lovelock, sociologist Saskia Sassen, human geographer Fabrizio Eva, cultural theorist Tzvetan Todorov, and philosopher and economist John N. Gray. Here's the docu released on 3 parts:
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Please kick out these two out of UMNO & BN please!
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..........{.._$;_......”=,_.......“-,_.......,.-~-,},.~”;/....}...........
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How the hell will UMNO & BN repair itself with these bunch of chimps?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Top Ten Things I Don't Ever Want To See In A Movie Trailer Ever Again
I used to have so many found memories of going to the theater, especially as a child and teenager and one of my favorite things was getting to see the trailers for coming attractions. Before Al Gore invented the series of tubes know today as ‘the Internets’ this was the only way to see them outside of those expensive VHS tapes–(in the long long ago, movies came on these spools of tape held together by intricate pieces of plastic) So seeing previews of upcoming flicks on a big screen was a real treat, and I know most people still have those feelings… but not me. Nope. All those fuzzy feelings have been ripped out of me by a marketing tool know as a ‘Trailer Disc’. Allow me to explain.
I'm a frequent customer at video rental stores like HMV and Speedy for four years, and the one thing (other than renting out movies) that they all have in common is the God Damn Trailer Disc. A Trailer Disc is simply a monthly DVD that contains about 15-20 Movie Trailers that plays in a constant loop. Now, take 8 hours a day + 5 days a week for 7 years and math-a-matize that shit by a 25 min continuous loop and you can start to see the origins of my madness. I HATE TRAILERS. I just can’t stand those Fuckin’ things. So, during one of my random bitchfests at work about that fuckin’ disc, I decided to compile a list of the 10 most horrible cliché things that I am bored with, tired of and pissed at in these 2 ½ minute milestones of vexatious minutia. Enjoy.
10. The ‘Hey, Where Was That One Part?’
This one is annoying in retrospect. You ever watch a trailer, get psyched to see the movie based on what you saw, go see the movie and the material you saw in the trailer that made you want to see the movie was cut out of the movie, thus negating the purpose for seeing said fucking movie? That shit makes my piss boil.
Example: ’Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy’. Almost the entire original trailer.
09. The ‘You Were Expecting Someone Else?’
The Trailer starts out serious like and just when you are thinking ‘OMG is this the new James Bond trailer?!’ The narrator drops out and … Whomp Whom, Nope! It’s a Super Funny Comedy! Let’s go see that, it was SOOOO clever in tricking us, tee hee hee!
Example: ‘Get Smart’ (2008) ‘There has always been a delicate balance of chaos and control. Now with that balance threatened it’s time to turn to one man…’ and it’s Steve Carell. DURP!!!
Hasn’t this joke been done enough times? Think about, I bet each person reading this can think of at least 10 times they have seen this done. You know what? Wasn’t funny the first fucking time. Get a new shtick Assholes!
08. The ‘From The GUY that Brought You/Produced/Was In/Is Friends With…’
The studio gets a hit movie and decides to take the most quotable or quirky aspect of it and spin it into some recycled garbage in hopes that the original audience will fall for seeing the same shit twice.
Example: ‘Just Like Heaven’. ‘Featuring ‘NAPOLEON DYNAMITE’S’ Jon Heder!’ Remember him kids! He did the Funny Dance! Wee! Come to our new movie and see all his NEW catch phrases so you’ll be in on the Hot Topic slogan shirts! Hey you laughed at him before, so why not again! Note, Youtube this shit, it is so sad, they even used a clip of Heder giving the thumbs-up when they show him. How embarrassing.
07. The ‘Hey, This Isn’t A (ENTER GENRE HERE) Movie’
Misinterpretation of Genre. How many times have seen a trailer that made the movie look like a Comedy, or a Thriller and upon seeing it, it was anything but. A lot. Studio dicks will do anything to get your $7.50. They switch the tone of the trailer based on which movie it is appearing in front of. BULLSHIT! ASSHOLE JACK-OFFS!
Example: ‘Into The Blue’. When this was coming out there were 2 trailers I saw in theaters. One made the film look like what it was, a lame popcorn movie for tweenagers and I saw this in front of a summer blockbuster popcorn flick. I had a good laugh at the awfulness, but all was good. But then I saw another trailer in front of an adult centric mystery movie and the tone was WAY different, they tried to play it off as a fuckin’ thriller for the 18-30 crowd. Which it is… NOT! Douchebag Executives, I’m on to your bullshit. You can’t pull the mediocre shirtless boy-whore wool over my eyes God Dammit!
06. The ‘This Song Says It All!’
Overused Songs used in the trailer, but usually never in the movie. Simple, here is a short list off the top of my head: ‘Let the Bodies Hit The Floor’, ‘Click Click Boom’, ‘Lux Aeterna’, ‘Battle Without Honor or Humanity’, 'Requiem for a Dream', ‘Spirit In The Sky’, ‘My Love Open The Door’, ‘Theme From The Last of the Mohicans’. Can’t we try something original here? I know change is scary, but you never know… You could choose a new song and be the first in a long list of people to use it!
Example: Sunshine & The Da Vinci Code. I cringed when both used the them from 'Requiem for a Dream'.
05. The ‘Show ‘Em How Funny It Is’
This happens when someone in the trailer says something that the editor thinks everyone should laugh at, but during that scene in the movie, no one does. So, they cut to another part of the movie where people are laughing and stick them together to show us in the audience that, Hey! This Shit Is Funny!
Example: ‘Dan In Real Life’. Dane Cook: ‘Hey look everyone, it’s Dan’s book, best book I ever read.’ Some Woman: ‘Maybe the ONLY book you’ve ever read’ CUT TO: Dinner scene of a bunch of chuckle heads yukking it up. SWIPE to a car…’
I can’t stand this crazy, non sequitur excuse for a laugh track bullshit.
04. The ‘Were They Gunna Say What I THINK They Were Gunnna Say?!’
Something CRAZY happens to a character and the way in which the character chooses to express their feelings on the situation is to say ‘BEEP!’ Hmm, that was weird, I meant to say ‘HONK’, Umm, no… I’m trying to say *EXPLOSION*. Well fiddle sticks.
Example: ‘Monster In Law’. Wanda Sykes: ‘I am sick Sick SICK of Your ‘HONK!’
Holy mother of *KABOOM* is this *SCREECH* the most pathetic tactic to get a cheep laugh. How much of a crazy uptight right-wing conservative do you have to be to have your swear words Beeped for you to find it pleasant enough to chuckle at. *CRASH* this *BONK*. It’s as pointless as blurring someone’s middle finger, EVERYBODY knows what’s there, so why tease us with this Mickey Mouse Bull*CLANK* just to be P.C.?
03. The ‘One For The Road’
At the end of the trailer, show the TITLE and then throw in one more nauseating 'DURP!' Joke as a slap on the audience’s ass. Thanks For Watchin’!
Example: EVERY COMEDY TRAILER: [GENERIC COMEDY TITLE] ~FART!~
And i'm too lazy to post a YouTube video for this one.
02. The ‘LOOK HOW ZANY!’
Just in case the audience has severe ADHD, lets pump a ton of unnecessary and obnoxious sound effects into every clip and transition for the solid 2 ½ minutes. ~BANG! ZOINKS! UeeWANK! BLONG! ZiiiP! EUWoW!~ It’s like a fucking 1960’s Batman episode. I don’t need a bunch of dumb ass chatter thrown in to bash me over the head with just how fuckin’ CaRaZiE! This Shit Is! Give me a little credit.
Example: ‘Superbad’. When Evan hit’s Jenna in the tit ‘GULP!’ and when Evan and Seth are in their sleeping bags ’CRICKET CHIRPS’... By the way, They Are In-Fucking-Doors! Why Is This Here? What Purpose Does This Serve? Answer: Nun-Whatso-Fuckin'-Ever!
01. The ‘HhhhUhhh!’ and The ‘RrrrreMP’
She just fell down! *STOCK AUDIENCE GASP*. He just said something that could be interpreted as racist *CUT THE PLAYBACK–RECORD SCRATCH*. My hatred knows no bounds. My hands are actually shaking as I am typing this out of the pure unfiltered psychotic fucking rage I have for this effect. I cannot express just how unfunny and overused this fuck damn tactic is. I have to have a Valium.
Example: Here are a few recent ones… ‘What Happens In Vegas’. Cameron Diaz falls off the bar. ‘GASP!’ ‘The Rocker’. Rainn Wilson throws the drumstick at the prom ‘GASP!’. ‘Miss Conception’ the first 20 seconds ‘RECORD SCRATCH‘. And so on, And So On…
As an added bonus, you can see almost all 10 of these Gripes in 1 single trailer. ’The Pacifier’. Go ahead, check it out, and pay close attention,. Try and count the number of asinine dumb ass sound effects and bullshit clichés that riddle those two and a half minutes like ass cancer. Go ahead, I Fuckin’ Dare You.
I'm a frequent customer at video rental stores like HMV and Speedy for four years, and the one thing (other than renting out movies) that they all have in common is the God Damn Trailer Disc. A Trailer Disc is simply a monthly DVD that contains about 15-20 Movie Trailers that plays in a constant loop. Now, take 8 hours a day + 5 days a week for 7 years and math-a-matize that shit by a 25 min continuous loop and you can start to see the origins of my madness. I HATE TRAILERS. I just can’t stand those Fuckin’ things. So, during one of my random bitchfests at work about that fuckin’ disc, I decided to compile a list of the 10 most horrible cliché things that I am bored with, tired of and pissed at in these 2 ½ minute milestones of vexatious minutia. Enjoy.
10. The ‘Hey, Where Was That One Part?’
This one is annoying in retrospect. You ever watch a trailer, get psyched to see the movie based on what you saw, go see the movie and the material you saw in the trailer that made you want to see the movie was cut out of the movie, thus negating the purpose for seeing said fucking movie? That shit makes my piss boil.
Example: ’Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy’. Almost the entire original trailer.
09. The ‘You Were Expecting Someone Else?’
The Trailer starts out serious like and just when you are thinking ‘OMG is this the new James Bond trailer?!’ The narrator drops out and … Whomp Whom, Nope! It’s a Super Funny Comedy! Let’s go see that, it was SOOOO clever in tricking us, tee hee hee!
Example: ‘Get Smart’ (2008) ‘There has always been a delicate balance of chaos and control. Now with that balance threatened it’s time to turn to one man…’ and it’s Steve Carell. DURP!!!
Hasn’t this joke been done enough times? Think about, I bet each person reading this can think of at least 10 times they have seen this done. You know what? Wasn’t funny the first fucking time. Get a new shtick Assholes!
08. The ‘From The GUY that Brought You/Produced/Was In/Is Friends With…’
The studio gets a hit movie and decides to take the most quotable or quirky aspect of it and spin it into some recycled garbage in hopes that the original audience will fall for seeing the same shit twice.
Example: ‘Just Like Heaven’. ‘Featuring ‘NAPOLEON DYNAMITE’S’ Jon Heder!’ Remember him kids! He did the Funny Dance! Wee! Come to our new movie and see all his NEW catch phrases so you’ll be in on the Hot Topic slogan shirts! Hey you laughed at him before, so why not again! Note, Youtube this shit, it is so sad, they even used a clip of Heder giving the thumbs-up when they show him. How embarrassing.
07. The ‘Hey, This Isn’t A (ENTER GENRE HERE) Movie’
Misinterpretation of Genre. How many times have seen a trailer that made the movie look like a Comedy, or a Thriller and upon seeing it, it was anything but. A lot. Studio dicks will do anything to get your $7.50. They switch the tone of the trailer based on which movie it is appearing in front of. BULLSHIT! ASSHOLE JACK-OFFS!
Example: ‘Into The Blue’. When this was coming out there were 2 trailers I saw in theaters. One made the film look like what it was, a lame popcorn movie for tweenagers and I saw this in front of a summer blockbuster popcorn flick. I had a good laugh at the awfulness, but all was good. But then I saw another trailer in front of an adult centric mystery movie and the tone was WAY different, they tried to play it off as a fuckin’ thriller for the 18-30 crowd. Which it is… NOT! Douchebag Executives, I’m on to your bullshit. You can’t pull the mediocre shirtless boy-whore wool over my eyes God Dammit!
06. The ‘This Song Says It All!’
Overused Songs used in the trailer, but usually never in the movie. Simple, here is a short list off the top of my head: ‘Let the Bodies Hit The Floor’, ‘Click Click Boom’, ‘Lux Aeterna’, ‘Battle Without Honor or Humanity’, 'Requiem for a Dream', ‘Spirit In The Sky’, ‘My Love Open The Door’, ‘Theme From The Last of the Mohicans’. Can’t we try something original here? I know change is scary, but you never know… You could choose a new song and be the first in a long list of people to use it!
Example: Sunshine & The Da Vinci Code. I cringed when both used the them from 'Requiem for a Dream'.
05. The ‘Show ‘Em How Funny It Is’
This happens when someone in the trailer says something that the editor thinks everyone should laugh at, but during that scene in the movie, no one does. So, they cut to another part of the movie where people are laughing and stick them together to show us in the audience that, Hey! This Shit Is Funny!
Example: ‘Dan In Real Life’. Dane Cook: ‘Hey look everyone, it’s Dan’s book, best book I ever read.’ Some Woman: ‘Maybe the ONLY book you’ve ever read’ CUT TO: Dinner scene of a bunch of chuckle heads yukking it up. SWIPE to a car…’
I can’t stand this crazy, non sequitur excuse for a laugh track bullshit.
04. The ‘Were They Gunna Say What I THINK They Were Gunnna Say?!’
Something CRAZY happens to a character and the way in which the character chooses to express their feelings on the situation is to say ‘BEEP!’ Hmm, that was weird, I meant to say ‘HONK’, Umm, no… I’m trying to say *EXPLOSION*. Well fiddle sticks.
Example: ‘Monster In Law’. Wanda Sykes: ‘I am sick Sick SICK of Your ‘HONK!’
Holy mother of *KABOOM* is this *SCREECH* the most pathetic tactic to get a cheep laugh. How much of a crazy uptight right-wing conservative do you have to be to have your swear words Beeped for you to find it pleasant enough to chuckle at. *CRASH* this *BONK*. It’s as pointless as blurring someone’s middle finger, EVERYBODY knows what’s there, so why tease us with this Mickey Mouse Bull*CLANK* just to be P.C.?
03. The ‘One For The Road’
At the end of the trailer, show the TITLE and then throw in one more nauseating 'DURP!' Joke as a slap on the audience’s ass. Thanks For Watchin’!
Example: EVERY COMEDY TRAILER: [GENERIC COMEDY TITLE] ~FART!~
And i'm too lazy to post a YouTube video for this one.
02. The ‘LOOK HOW ZANY!’
Just in case the audience has severe ADHD, lets pump a ton of unnecessary and obnoxious sound effects into every clip and transition for the solid 2 ½ minutes. ~BANG! ZOINKS! UeeWANK! BLONG! ZiiiP! EUWoW!~ It’s like a fucking 1960’s Batman episode. I don’t need a bunch of dumb ass chatter thrown in to bash me over the head with just how fuckin’ CaRaZiE! This Shit Is! Give me a little credit.
Example: ‘Superbad’. When Evan hit’s Jenna in the tit ‘GULP!’ and when Evan and Seth are in their sleeping bags ’CRICKET CHIRPS’... By the way, They Are In-Fucking-Doors! Why Is This Here? What Purpose Does This Serve? Answer: Nun-Whatso-Fuckin'-Ever!
01. The ‘HhhhUhhh!’ and The ‘RrrrreMP’
She just fell down! *STOCK AUDIENCE GASP*. He just said something that could be interpreted as racist *CUT THE PLAYBACK–RECORD SCRATCH*. My hatred knows no bounds. My hands are actually shaking as I am typing this out of the pure unfiltered psychotic fucking rage I have for this effect. I cannot express just how unfunny and overused this fuck damn tactic is. I have to have a Valium.
Example: Here are a few recent ones… ‘What Happens In Vegas’. Cameron Diaz falls off the bar. ‘GASP!’ ‘The Rocker’. Rainn Wilson throws the drumstick at the prom ‘GASP!’. ‘Miss Conception’ the first 20 seconds ‘RECORD SCRATCH‘. And so on, And So On…
As an added bonus, you can see almost all 10 of these Gripes in 1 single trailer. ’The Pacifier’. Go ahead, check it out, and pay close attention,. Try and count the number of asinine dumb ass sound effects and bullshit clichés that riddle those two and a half minutes like ass cancer. Go ahead, I Fuckin’ Dare You.
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